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Eric Meyer's posts about his daughter's illness, and the family's lifelong process of grieving afterward, are heartbreaking. It's arresting, gripping writing. I

• 29athrowaway 2y ago
  Those posts are definitely not for everyone. It is a deep dive into the emotions of a grieving father for over a decade. I really hope that man can find peace.
  • deleted 2y ago
    [deleted]
• kaelig 2y ago
  "wonderful and awful" is such a brilliant way to capture this. Thank you
• arrowsmith 2y ago
  Ouch. As a father, that was a gutpunch. Dark, haunting, dripping with grief and pain, but beautifully written and very haunting. I can’t imagine anything worse than what that guy has been through. I’m holding my sleeping baby as I write this and I just hugged him even tighter. Thanks for sharing.
  • adastra22 2y ago
    As a father of two girls, I’m not clicking that link. I don’t think I could handle it.
    • heartbreak 2y ago
      I don’t blame you. I haven’t cried like that in a long time.
      • arrowsmith 2y ago
        Username checks out.
• ericwood 2y ago
  Thank you for linking this. I read bits and pieces of this as it was happening but it never fully registered for me at 24. I'm sitting here 10 years later at 34 having lost our son at 23 weeks. His due date was this past week. It's affected me in ways that still surprise, befuddle, and sometimes scare me. I cannot even begin to fathom what he's been through; the most recent blog post has me in tears. I have really strong memories of learning HTML, CSS, and javascript in high school, and spending time in the school library picking apart css/edge. It felt like the dawn of a new era, I was in awe of the things I saw there. I built more than a few sites trying to get my head around the complexispiral demo, and spent countless hours diving into resources I found there (like A List Apart! I will never forget the suckerfish drop-downs). This is one of the few moments I have such vivid memories of that were directly responsible me for pursuing computer engineering and ultimately going so far into UI/UX and the web. I've never written it out this explicitly but: thank you for everything, Eric.
  • bonzini 2y ago
    [flagged]
  • Cordiali 2y ago
    I hope every day is a bit easier than the last for you.
  • ten13 2y ago
    Thank you for sharing, Eric. It’s been a few years now for me since we lost our son before I ever had the chance to meet him and I’m not sure it’s any easier. Stories like yours and that of others help us all know we’re not alone in our grief though so I encourage you to keep sharing and telling your story.
    • ericwood 2y ago
      Hearing other people's stories helps so much, even though it can be a reminder of the long road ahead dealing with grief. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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• whatever1 2y ago
  How can the game be so unfair for some? People don’t deserve this.
  • mewpmewp2 2y ago
    Makes you think how life so easily and randomly can be so different irrespective of who you are or what you do to affect you forever.
  • agumonkey 2y ago
    it's indeed strange to realize that life / universe can crunch everything brainlessly in some spot while everything else is colorful around
  • efilife 2y ago
    That's the consequence of procreation
  • pglevy 2y ago
    Was just reading this on the pain of parenting in Medea by Euripides this weekend: "Suppose that the children have grown into youth And have turned out good, still, if God so wills it, Death will away with your children's bodies, And carry them off into Hades. What is our profit, then, that for the sake of Children the gods should pile up on mortals After all else This most terrible grief of all?" I try not to think about it too much.
  • shadowgovt 2y ago
    This might be a topic too heavy for this venue. The thumbnail sketch is "Consult the history of human philosophy and faith and you will find people wrestling with this question ever since we could talk and write." (Personal opinion: fairness is a human construct. The universe does not care. We are the ones who make it as fair as we can.)
    • dpig_ 2y ago
      Neil, there is a logic flaw in your little aphorism that seems quite telling. Since you and I are a part of the Universe, then we would also be indifferent and uncaring. Perhaps you forgot, Neil, that we are not superior to the Universe but merely a fraction of it. Nice day, indeed Norm Macdonald @normmacdonald - Apr 10, 2019
• bowsamic 2y ago
  [flagged]
  • arrowsmith 2y ago
    Who are you to tell someone else how to process his grief?
    • bowsamic 2y ago
      [flagged]
      • mewpmewp2 2y ago
        Is he self-destructing? That's a short blog post 10 years after it happened. The latest before that in Rebecca category is 3 years before that. And then he just seems to do those blog posts during birthdays. He's doing therapy etc, what else can he be doing? Writing blog posts is also processing.
      • outadoc 2y ago
        There's a time to use critical analysis, and there's a time to keep quiet and show some respect.
      • 5643367 2y ago
        There is no evidence this person is self destructing. You've read that in. This isn't coming from Meyer. It's coming from you. You regularly jump into threads to criticize how other people deal with their mental health challenges. I would appreciate if you would stop. It's inappropriate. You've been asked to stop by users and by dang multiple times. Maybe when you feel challenged by the way other people approach mental health, you should treat it as an invitation to practice rather than an invitation to criticize.
        • bowsamic 2y ago
          > You regularly jump into threads to criticize how other people deal with their mental health challenges. > I would appreciate if you would stop. It's inappropriate. You've been asked to stop by users and by dang multiple times. You must be thinking of someone else
• czhu12 2y ago
  Having never had children myself, his writing moved me in a way that I struggle to comprehend. I spent my 2 hour commute reading through all of his writing on his time, and subsequent grief of his daughter, starting here: https://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/2008/06/18/welcome-2/ https://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/2008/06/18/welcome-2/ I found this piece particularly moving, and brought me to tears: https://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/2014/06/10/so-many-nevers/ https://meyerweb.com/eric/thoughts/2014/06/10/so-many-nevers...