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> Who is selected for bullying is determined not primarily by the bully, but by the social group as a whole. I disagree. I think that the person who is bullied
by pessimizer 2y ago
> Who is selected for bullying is determined not primarily by the bully, but by the social group as a whole.
I disagree. I think that the person who is bullied is primarily selected by the bully, and the only influence that others have is that the bullied person doesn't have enough (or large enough) others around them in order to defend them. Others may then pile in once the target has been selected, but it's not in any way a collective decision.
You could just as well say that society chooses the people who get mugged, or the people whose houses are burglarized, or the people who are raped or murdered. I'm sure you could come up with some neo-Freudian way to convince somebody that makes sense, but it doesn't make sense. It's generalization to the point of uselessness if not complete absurdity.
I was bullied as a child. I was picked because I was an easy, bookish target without many friends, and definitely without tough friends. The bullying ended when I hurt a bully in a way that everyone found out about, and that state was maintained when I made a group of friends who would have defended me if a bully had approached me. The cause of all of this was obvious, not subtle or mysterious.
- BriggyDwiggs42 2y agoThe social group’s norms are those the bully aims to appeal to, either because they directly believe in them or because they want others’ approval. The person who’s easy to target is often easy to target precisely because they’re excluded from friendships that would protect them. The group has no mind; it can’t explicitly decide something. The decision is structurally embedded in the group, and goes beyond any individual, including the bully that takes the action.
- bluefirebrand 2y ago> influence that others have is that the bullied person doesn't have enough (or large enough) others around them in order to defend them Yes, this is how the crowd selects the target. It's implicit in the fact that the crowd has indicated they won't defend the target "Having no friends" is a signal that the herd isn't going to do anything to help you