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I mean, your statement says it all plain as day. What used to be the norm - having kids freely and often - is now a discussion. While some people may try to bla

I mean, your statement says it all plain as day. What used to be the norm - having kids freely and often - is now a discussion. While some people may try to blame that on civil rights, listening to stories from the extended older family as a kid paints a picture that we (as humans) will have as many kids as we feel we’re able to support, and as often as we feel safe doing so, when left to our own devices. And if that’s the case, then the question answers itself.

anon291 2y ago
Seriously... seeing how people discuss this is so strange. My wife and I literally just did the deed and made a baby. Didn't think a whole lot about it. But as I've said elsewhere in this thread. Part of this problem is that that 'let's-just-have-fun' attitude tends to dissipate by the time people are having kids these days. My wife and I married young for the 'well-educated' crowd (at 22), and I think my family size benefited from our collective on-going brain development. We did not even discuss this before getting pregnant the first time. It was just fun. I think as people age, hormones go down, etc, people start making this a bigger decision.
- snapplebobapple 2y ago
  Its partially this but also starting older kills off the 3+ kid families skewing the birthrate. My particular sitution my wife and i figured out late that all the fear mongering is bullshit amd not having kids makes you miss such an important and fulfilling part of being human. We had our first kid at 37, second kid at 39 and now have been trying for a year for our third kid but not having lick leaving expensive ivf as our fertility which means in practicality we are done. Also there was a massive upswing in inmarried people in my cohort vs older genertions that also kills fertility and is missed in this discussion
  - anon291 2y ago
    Yup. We are sold the story from a young age that when you're 'ready' to have kids, you can just have them. This is false. While humans on average will breed enough to grow a population slowly over time (as demonstrated by history/pre-history), the truth is that for any individual couple, humans are actually not that good at breeding. The chance of pregnancy each cycle is 20-25% ... not that high, and then there's the miscarriage rate, as well as the breastfeeding which can hold off fertility for months. All things considered, there's not that many opportunities for pregnancy. Indeed, a study found that if you want a 90% chance of having three, you need to start trying at 23! This is so off from the story we feed teenagers. Imagine getting pregnant the year after you graduate college? Most kids would think that's nuts, but if you want a good chance at a normal family size, then you really have to. https://www.thetimes.com/article/want-three-kids-then-best-start-at-23-qhvmxgftmw8 https://www.thetimes.com/article/want-three-kids-then-best-s...
    - snapplebobapple 2y ago
      Which wasnt a problem when we didnt have birth control and incorrectly believed religion so we got married way before 23, stayed together and had squat for entertainment options mak*ng sex highly likely. I love my birth control, entertainment, and atheism so i really hope we stumble onto a sustainable path that keeps those and avoids the old ways soon.

anon291 2y ago

Seriously... seeing how people discuss this is so strange. My wife and I literally just did the deed and made a baby. Didn't think a whole lot about it. But as I've said elsewhere in this thread. Part of this problem is that that 'let's-just-have-fun' attitude tends to dissipate by the time people are having kids these days. My wife and I married young for the 'well-educated' crowd (at 22), and I think my family size benefited from our collective on-going brain development. We did not even discuss this before getting pregnant the first time. It was just fun. I think as people age, hormones go down, etc, people start making this a bigger decision.

snapplebobapple 2y ago
Its partially this but also starting older kills off the 3+ kid families skewing the birthrate. My particular sitution my wife and i figured out late that all the fear mongering is bullshit amd not having kids makes you miss such an important and fulfilling part of being human. We had our first kid at 37, second kid at 39 and now have been trying for a year for our third kid but not having lick leaving expensive ivf as our fertility which means in practicality we are done. Also there was a massive upswing in inmarried people in my cohort vs older genertions that also kills fertility and is missed in this discussion
- anon291 2y ago
  Yup. We are sold the story from a young age that when you're 'ready' to have kids, you can just have them. This is false. While humans on average will breed enough to grow a population slowly over time (as demonstrated by history/pre-history), the truth is that for any individual couple, humans are actually not that good at breeding. The chance of pregnancy each cycle is 20-25% ... not that high, and then there's the miscarriage rate, as well as the breastfeeding which can hold off fertility for months. All things considered, there's not that many opportunities for pregnancy. Indeed, a study found that if you want a 90% chance of having three, you need to start trying at 23! This is so off from the story we feed teenagers. Imagine getting pregnant the year after you graduate college? Most kids would think that's nuts, but if you want a good chance at a normal family size, then you really have to. https://www.thetimes.com/article/want-three-kids-then-best-start-at-23-qhvmxgftmw8 https://www.thetimes.com/article/want-three-kids-then-best-s...
  - snapplebobapple 2y ago
    Which wasnt a problem when we didnt have birth control and incorrectly believed religion so we got married way before 23, stayed together and had squat for entertainment options mak*ng sex highly likely. I love my birth control, entertainment, and atheism so i really hope we stumble onto a sustainable path that keeps those and avoids the old ways soon.