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memetic pressure = desire to be like everyone else. Having lots of kids is counter-cultural. I have three children, which is not that much. However, being in a

memetic pressure = desire to be like everyone else. Having lots of kids is counter-cultural. I have three children, which is not that much. However, being in a well-off neighborhood full of cultural 'elite's in Portland, OR means that I am a pariah. I am especially a pariah because I enthusiastically say we want more. THis means we don't do what the other people are doing. Hence, we're resisting the memetic pressure. Another way of saying this, on an economic front, would be 'keeping up with the Joneses'. If you ever read the millionaire next door stuff, you'll notice the main thing these people have is the ability to resist the pressure to spend. That, in addition to the magic of compound interest, which also applies to fertility rates, means that they end up with disproportionately more capital.

yongjik 2y ago
I know people with three or four kids in the middle of Silicon Valley and I've never seen anyone talking ill of them because of that. Call me crazy, but I have a feeling that if you're a social pariah in Portland, OR then it's not because you have three kids.
- anon291 2y ago
  I never said I'm spoken ill of, just that the cultural pressure to not have more kids is omnipresent. I'd label it a 'microagression' of sorts. For example, after my third, I've been asked multiple times if I'm getting a vasectomy. No one speaks ill of it, but I'm definitely one of the only ones with this many kids in the area. I can count on my hand the number of 3+ kid families in the neighborhood. Whereas for my parents generation... 3 is a typical family. As for the pariah bit... having kids means that we're probably not going to be doing a bunch of the adult-only activities that people invite us to. With a baby always at home, it's unlikely we would do that kind of thing until our kids are grown and my wife well past menopause. Parents today expect to not only have children but also to have an adult social life of a sort that my parents and grandparents never expected. Rather, adults socialized with their families mostly. That was considered typical.
- _DeadFred_ 2y ago
  When I lived in the Bay Area I was told multiple times I'm racist for having children. Can't help you with the logic because I didn't engage with them and avoided them going forward, but it happens.
fzeroracer 2y ago
Looking at your post history here, I don't think you're a pariah because of the amount of children you want to have. It's because you have a lot of noxious viewpoints that involve saying people straight up should not exist.
- anon291 2y ago
  lolwut?
rconti 2y ago
If you think you're a pariah for having 3 children, I think your view of how others judge you could use some recalibration. You might just be projecting a massive amount.

yongjik 2y ago

I know people with three or four kids in the middle of Silicon Valley and I've never seen anyone talking ill of them because of that. Call me crazy, but I have a feeling that if you're a social pariah in Portland, OR then it's not because you have three kids.

anon291 2y ago
I never said I'm spoken ill of, just that the cultural pressure to not have more kids is omnipresent. I'd label it a 'microagression' of sorts. For example, after my third, I've been asked multiple times if I'm getting a vasectomy. No one speaks ill of it, but I'm definitely one of the only ones with this many kids in the area. I can count on my hand the number of 3+ kid families in the neighborhood. Whereas for my parents generation... 3 is a typical family. As for the pariah bit... having kids means that we're probably not going to be doing a bunch of the adult-only activities that people invite us to. With a baby always at home, it's unlikely we would do that kind of thing until our kids are grown and my wife well past menopause. Parents today expect to not only have children but also to have an adult social life of a sort that my parents and grandparents never expected. Rather, adults socialized with their families mostly. That was considered typical.
_DeadFred_ 2y ago
When I lived in the Bay Area I was told multiple times I'm racist for having children. Can't help you with the logic because I didn't engage with them and avoided them going forward, but it happens.

fzeroracer 2y ago

Looking at your post history here, I don't think you're a pariah because of the amount of children you want to have. It's because you have a lot of noxious viewpoints that involve saying people straight up should not exist.

anon291 2y ago
lolwut?

rconti 2y ago

If you think you're a pariah for having 3 children, I think your view of how others judge you could use some recalibration. You might just be projecting a massive amount.