4 ms·

It seems like the dominant strategy is to always be in the passenger seat and always pick your favorite place.

airstrike 2y ago
Only if you're solving to "win" every time, but in relationships you're often solving to also please the other person. Plus people get decision fatigue, so deferring to the other person can be doubly good... but not to the point where you don't care at all where to go, because you still have your standards and soft preferences and some places you'd like to veto entirely... which is why couples often get into this endless dance when deciding something for both. It's true also of deciding what to watch. I've spent 30+ minutes debating what to watch, only to realize we should be going to sleep in just another 15 mins so no we can't really watch anything anymore So over the years my strategy has morphed to making the decision and taking responsibility for making it an enjoyable experience for both
- massung 2y ago
  > I've spent 30+ minutes debating what to watch... This is something I've personally wanted to dive into the psychology of more. Maybe it's just me, but I've noticed that - in the days of streaming and everything being on-demand - picking what to watch is actually very frustrating to me. Quite often, I'd much rather just browse "live" TV and stop on something I like. I'd never think to myself "I feel like watching The Goonies". But if I'm flipping channels and The Goonies happens to be on - 20 minutes into it - I'll stop there and absolutely enjoy watching the rest of it. I wonder why that is.
  - intended 2y ago
    Decision fatigue is part of it. There is probably some research that directly taps into it, I did come across and adjacent research paper - “ New contexts, old heuristics: How young people in India and the US trust online content in the age of generative AI” https://arxiv.org/pdf/2405.02522 https://arxiv.org/pdf/2405.02522 The indication is that people consume content online in different modes based on their objectives. Perhaps the mode of consumption for food decisions / streaming decisions is part of the category where we dont want to work very hard to get to an answer.
- blitzar 2y ago
  If you can't beat your spouse whats the point?!
beAbU 2y ago
Easy enough to solve by making sure partners alternate seats every time.
qwertox 2y ago
So person B always chooses what person A dislikes the most, until person A recognizes its mistake.

Only if you're solving to "win" every time, but in relationships you're often solving to also please the other person. Plus people get decision fatigue, so deferring to the other person can be doubly good... but not to the point where you don't care at all where to go, because you still have your standards and soft preferences and some places you'd like to veto entirely... which is why couples often get into this endless dance when deciding something for both. It's true also of deciding what to watch. I've spent 30+ minutes debating what to watch, only to realize we should be going to sleep in just another 15 mins so no we can't really watch anything anymore So over the years my strategy has morphed to making the decision and taking responsibility for making it an enjoyable experience for both

massung 2y ago
> I've spent 30+ minutes debating what to watch... This is something I've personally wanted to dive into the psychology of more. Maybe it's just me, but I've noticed that - in the days of streaming and everything being on-demand - picking what to watch is actually very frustrating to me. Quite often, I'd much rather just browse "live" TV and stop on something I like. I'd never think to myself "I feel like watching The Goonies". But if I'm flipping channels and The Goonies happens to be on - 20 minutes into it - I'll stop there and absolutely enjoy watching the rest of it. I wonder why that is.
- intended 2y ago
  Decision fatigue is part of it. There is probably some research that directly taps into it, I did come across and adjacent research paper - “ New contexts, old heuristics: How young people in India and the US trust online content in the age of generative AI” https://arxiv.org/pdf/2405.02522 https://arxiv.org/pdf/2405.02522 The indication is that people consume content online in different modes based on their objectives. Perhaps the mode of consumption for food decisions / streaming decisions is part of the category where we dont want to work very hard to get to an answer.
blitzar 2y ago
If you can't beat your spouse whats the point?!

beAbU 2y ago

Easy enough to solve by making sure partners alternate seats every time.

qwertox 2y ago

So person B always chooses what person A dislikes the most, until person A recognizes its mistake.