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Thanks. I didn’t do a good job of listening to what the new director wants when we met. Frankly I was (understandably, I think) concerned for my career, and ask

Thanks. I didn’t do a good job of listening to what the new director wants when we met. Frankly I was (understandably, I think) concerned for my career, and asked things mostly related to myself. I should’ve planned the conversation better. It’s unfortunate that a 30 minute conversation like that can establish a first impression that’ll be hard to get rid of. I think he will most likely be named the new director of both my current team and my manager’s other team, which will make him my skip either way. They drafted an hiring req for the position that seems especially tuned to him. Any thoughts on how I might repair things?

BobaFloutist 2y ago
I say this from my experience with people, more than with managers in particular, so bear that in mind: It's actually usually pretty easy to repair first impressions. Ask for another brief meeting with him, or shoot him an email, or try to just casually run into him at work, and communicate your concerns, reframed in a way that's likely to land with him. For example, I would consider saying something like "Hey, I was thinking over our meeting the other day and realized I might have given you the wrong impression. I was feeling a little uncertain with the recent shakeups, and might have been a bit too focused on establishing my role in the department going forward, rather than listening to you and understanding what you need from me. I'm actually really looking forward to working with the new broader team and getting a more direct understanding of what the new director's previous team that your team is getting merged with needs from your product! Please let me know if there's anything immediate I can do to help smooth this transition." I wrote that more as an email, but you can say more or less the same things in person. Just reassure him that you're going to play ball, give an understandable, mostly-true justification for your poor communication that's slightly more politic than "I thought I was about to be fired lol," and communicate that you understand and are committed to what he already said he wanted (working more with the other team) and you'll probably be fine.

BobaFloutist 2y ago

I say this from my experience with people, more than with managers in particular, so bear that in mind: It's actually usually pretty easy to repair first impressions. Ask for another brief meeting with him, or shoot him an email, or try to just casually run into him at work, and communicate your concerns, reframed in a way that's likely to land with him. For example, I would consider saying something like "Hey, I was thinking over our meeting the other day and realized I might have given you the wrong impression. I was feeling a little uncertain with the recent shakeups, and might have been a bit too focused on establishing my role in the department going forward, rather than listening to you and understanding what you need from me. I'm actually really looking forward to working with the new broader team and getting a more direct understanding of what the new director's previous team that your team is getting merged with needs from your product! Please let me know if there's anything immediate I can do to help smooth this transition." I wrote that more as an email, but you can say more or less the same things in person. Just reassure him that you're going to play ball, give an understandable, mostly-true justification for your poor communication that's slightly more politic than "I thought I was about to be fired lol," and communicate that you understand and are committed to what he already said he wanted (working more with the other team) and you'll probably be fine.