3 ms·

Well, that feels like a rather extreme jump to conclusions, and was certainly not something I thought the GP comment was even suggesting. I don't see any reaso

Well, that feels like a rather extreme jump to conclusions, and was certainly not something I thought the GP comment was even suggesting. I don't see any reason why people couldn't adjust from meeting friends at restaurants to hosting friends at home instead. (Unless, of course, your living space is limited) If you aren't cooking and cleaning up after, what's the difference between that and meeting someone at a restaurant?

astura 2y ago
I can think of some differences: 1) You get out of your house. 2) You don't have leftovers from a big meal to deal with. 3) You can duck out early without having to kick everyone out.. 4) you can fit a LOT more people at a restaurant.
closewith 2y ago
> If you aren't cooking and cleaning up after, what's the difference between that and meeting someone at a restaurant? I wonder if you realise how dystopian your life already is to consider this question reasonable. There is a difference between a co-located set of siloed people and a community. The inability to recognise this means your community is already broken.
- a_c_s 2y ago
  I don't understand the distinction you are making: two couples (4 people) meeting at a restaurant is, to me, equally social as one couple going to another couple's house to eat dinner.
  - closewith 2y ago
    Four people in a public space interacting with the rest of the community is fundamentally different to four people in an isolated silo.
    - TylerE 2y ago
      Having to listen to some drunk two tables over matter away is not desirable community interaction. It’s nice to be able to carry on a conversation somewhere there isn’t a constant din.
      - closewith 2y ago
        [flagged]
        TylerE 2y ago
        Please stop telling me how I'm supposed to feel. It's dismissive and incredibly rude. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
        closewith 2y ago
        With respect, you're making your own feelings clear. I'm not ascribing any emotion to you. However, it is clear you lack the perspective to understand how globally unusual or fundamentally broken your community and your interactions with it are.
        TylerE 2y ago
        There you go again with insults. Just. STOP.
        closewith 2y ago
        I think you should re-read the guidelines and choose a more charitable interpretation of my comments. Any impression of an insult comes from within.
- netruk44 2y ago
  I suppose our restaurant-going experiences must significantly differ. If I'm going to a restaurant with friends for social interaction, it typically doesn't involve the other people in the restaurant who just happen to be there at the same time as me. If I wanted that, I would go to a bar instead, which is a separate conversation from the one we were having. However, I don't think I would be so bold as to call either of our lifestyles 'broken'. That feels like a needless attack.
  - closewith 2y ago
    It's not an attack, and there's no ill will here. It is accurate, though, and is said with sympathy.
    - dleary 2y ago
      [flagged]
      - closewith 2y ago
        > You are an idiot narcissist, unable to comprehend that other people might not hold the same values as you. This defect in you, the inability to recognize that other people might want different things than you, will forever render you unable to connect with people at large. I wonder if you see the irony? Ultimately, my comment refers not to individual values, but truisms of the human condition, backed by decades of research by sociologists and psychologists. > Your judgemental attitude combined with your deep conviction that everybody else is in the wrong, rather than you, guarantees that you will die a lonely misanthrope. I wonder if the reality would disappoint you? Or if you're hoping for this outcome? > Your abrasive, insulting communication style ensures that nobody will ever truly love you. Again the irony is palpable. I wonder how you react to disagreements in person if this is your reaction to a well-reasoned but provocative comment that offends you. > Also, you are, in general, a shit person. Are you of the calibre of person to judge others? > All of this might sound over the top and a mean attack, but it’s not. Instead, it is accurate and sympathetic. It may in fact be accurate, if the subject is the author.

astura 2y ago

I can think of some differences: 1) You get out of your house. 2) You don't have leftovers from a big meal to deal with. 3) You can duck out early without having to kick everyone out.. 4) you can fit a LOT more people at a restaurant.

closewith 2y ago

> If you aren't cooking and cleaning up after, what's the difference between that and meeting someone at a restaurant? I wonder if you realise how dystopian your life already is to consider this question reasonable. There is a difference between a co-located set of siloed people and a community. The inability to recognise this means your community is already broken.

a_c_s 2y ago
I don't understand the distinction you are making: two couples (4 people) meeting at a restaurant is, to me, equally social as one couple going to another couple's house to eat dinner.
- closewith 2y ago
  Four people in a public space interacting with the rest of the community is fundamentally different to four people in an isolated silo.
  - TylerE 2y ago
    Having to listen to some drunk two tables over matter away is not desirable community interaction. It’s nice to be able to carry on a conversation somewhere there isn’t a constant din.
    - closewith 2y ago
      [flagged]
      - TylerE 2y ago
        Please stop telling me how I'm supposed to feel. It's dismissive and incredibly rude. https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
        closewith 2y ago
        With respect, you're making your own feelings clear. I'm not ascribing any emotion to you. However, it is clear you lack the perspective to understand how globally unusual or fundamentally broken your community and your interactions with it are.
        TylerE 2y ago
        There you go again with insults. Just. STOP.
        closewith 2y ago
        I think you should re-read the guidelines and choose a more charitable interpretation of my comments. Any impression of an insult comes from within.
netruk44 2y ago
I suppose our restaurant-going experiences must significantly differ. If I'm going to a restaurant with friends for social interaction, it typically doesn't involve the other people in the restaurant who just happen to be there at the same time as me. If I wanted that, I would go to a bar instead, which is a separate conversation from the one we were having. However, I don't think I would be so bold as to call either of our lifestyles 'broken'. That feels like a needless attack.
- closewith 2y ago
  It's not an attack, and there's no ill will here. It is accurate, though, and is said with sympathy.
  - dleary 2y ago
    [flagged]
    - closewith 2y ago
      > You are an idiot narcissist, unable to comprehend that other people might not hold the same values as you. This defect in you, the inability to recognize that other people might want different things than you, will forever render you unable to connect with people at large. I wonder if you see the irony? Ultimately, my comment refers not to individual values, but truisms of the human condition, backed by decades of research by sociologists and psychologists. > Your judgemental attitude combined with your deep conviction that everybody else is in the wrong, rather than you, guarantees that you will die a lonely misanthrope. I wonder if the reality would disappoint you? Or if you're hoping for this outcome? > Your abrasive, insulting communication style ensures that nobody will ever truly love you. Again the irony is palpable. I wonder how you react to disagreements in person if this is your reaction to a well-reasoned but provocative comment that offends you. > Also, you are, in general, a shit person. Are you of the calibre of person to judge others? > All of this might sound over the top and a mean attack, but it’s not. Instead, it is accurate and sympathetic. It may in fact be accurate, if the subject is the author.