4 ms·
I honestly don't think that that second Macbeth paragraph is necessarily better than the first one. There's something to be said for succinctness/directness.
by ShardPhoenix 18y ago
I honestly don't think that that second Macbeth paragraph is necessarily better than the first one. There's something to be said for succinctness/directness.
- kirse 18y agonecessarily better It all depends on the audience. The first sentence is "better" for passing an exam the next day, but hardly enjoyable if one is to immerse themselves in a work of fiction.
- nostrademons 18y agoThe second sentence has a lot that could be cleaned up about it - it is overly wordy, a bit pretentious, and may not describe the right details. But if I saw the first paragraph in a published novel I was reading, I'd be very disappointed. It doesn't immerse you in the story at all.