6 ms·

I guess she was calling for help, so the strategy of postponing wasn't that bad even in retroperspective? Or do you mean you called her becouse you kinda knew

I guess she was calling for help, so the strategy of postponing wasn't that bad even in retroperspective? Or do you mean you called her becouse you kinda knew you were mad and wanted her to also say it?

seszett 2y ago
Since she was 100 km away, it didn't make sense she was going to be there in 15 minutes by normal means, so it meant either she was lying or OP was actually going to be teleported. OP apparently chose to believe the latter, since it confirmed their current delusion. So it didn't postpone anything, maybe if she had given a realistic ETA (or just said "I'm coming, wait for me") it would have worked though. It's very difficult to know what to do in these situations though, I've been on the side of that girlfriend and you just can't have a full understand of what's going on in the head of the other person, everything is just walking on eggs, except the eggs are actually landmines.
- aleph_minus_one 2y ago
  > I've been on the side of that girlfriend and you just can't have a full understand of what's going on in the head of the other person, everything is just walking on eggs, except the eggs are actually landmines. The problem here in my opinion is rather that most people are used to lie, manipulate and betray (in society this behaviour is actually euphemized via the term "white lies"). In this particular case, such a behaviour does have consequences. See the example of this thread where the girlfriend claims she will be there in 15 minutes, despite being 100 km away. Since most people are not used to being honest (or, I assume, actually never were), they give similar descriptions of their difficulties when their lies do have consequences like your "everything is just walking on eggs, except the eggs are actually landmines".
  - seszett 2y ago
    It's a bit more complicated than just "not being used being honest". Being 100% honest and not hiding anything doesn't work either, so it's a constant balancing act between telling them the truth, reassuring them and sometimes indeed shielding from the harsh truth by avoiding from mentioning something, which I do believe is different from lying. Lying is out of question though and I think the people who resort to that do it out of laziness more than anything, or maybe well-intentioned wishful thinking in the case of the aforementioned girlfriend. But this is always harmful, not just with psychotic persons.
    - tdeck 2y ago
      It's interesting how OP conflates telling white lies with "betraying" - kinda feels like there are some issues to work through there.
      - aleph_minus_one 2y ago
        > It's interesting how OP conflates telling white lies with "betraying" This statement exactly proves my point concerning how dishonest and betraying most people are.
        genrilz 2y ago
        I think what GP is saying is that white lies are not necessarily betrayal. Betrayal is when someone violates your trust somehow. [0] You can see some examples of lying in the wiktionary definition I linked. (see the last two definitions) However, both these definitions involve the lie causing some negative consequence. A white lie is specifically a lie done to spare someones feelings. It's possible that the white lie can cause negative consequences, but that is not always the case. To take a concrete example, consider the classic white lie "no, that dress doesn't make you look fat". It is possible that this could cause someone to wear an ugly dress, but the person probably looked at themselves in the mirror too, so they probably will end up choosing a dress that doesn't look awful. In this case there is no negative consequence associated with the white lie unless person wearing the dress is unable to accurately self assess. (which is something the speaker hopefully would know about the dress wearer) You could define being lied to as a violation of your trust. In particular, I think autistic people often can't pick up on social cues, and so rely more on people speaking the truth to them. However, that doesn't mean white lies are betrayal for everyone. If you in particular feel like white lies are betrayal, you might want to tell people in your life that so they know it's important to you. They won't automatically know and it isn't automatically important to them. [0]: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/betray#English https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/betray#English
        aleph_minus_one 2y ago
  - throw4950sh06 2y ago
    In this particular case, it was sort of the opposite. I'm used to her always being honest, so when she told me it's 15 minutes I trusted her 100%. She was getting a friend to rescue me, and she was counting on me trusting her and waiting at home, but unfortunately that was of no use as I went off to the city before they could even pack their things after that call.
    - aleph_minus_one 2y ago
      > I'm used to her always being honest, so when she told me it's 15 minutes I trusted her 100%. But she lied to you - and this lead to your dangerous chain of thoughts.
      - deleted 2y ago
        [deleted]
    - DiggyJohnson 2y ago
      Should she have been more honest and said "X will be their shortly. I'm really worried about you, please stay put."? Just trying to follow this chain of reasoning.
      - throw4950sh06 2y ago
        Yes, that would work. I was really looking for confirmation, so if she said something like this the issue could be avoided. But who knows what I'd come up with 10 minutes later...
- anal_reactor 2y ago
  This ruins my LSD trips. Instead of enjoying the high I end up being scared that I might do something stupid that sober me will later regret.
  - naming_the_user 2y ago
    This is the reason that I've only ever done LSD once. It wasn't especially anxiety inducing for the most part and was quite fun, but I feel as if I just got lucky and that in a slightly different circumstance I could just have convinced myself that my apartment window was in fact the front door and fall out of it.
  - zmgsabst 2y ago
    Out of curiosity, what is it you imagine would go wrong?
    - upghost 2y ago
      I'm going to assume "selecting a username" :D
      - DiggyJohnson 2y ago
        lmfao
    - anal_reactor 2y ago
      I don't know, I can try cooking something and actually making a fire
throw4950sh06 2y ago
Retrospectively, it was a total blunder - not truly hers since she couldn't be expected to act perfectly in that situation, but it's definitely something we've discussed as the TOP ONE thing to never do and always mention it to others when discussing situations like that. It didn't postpone anything. I called her because I knew I'm going mad and wanted to confirm if it's true or not. Of course I didn't word it this way, though. What she said confirmed the delusion, nearly got me killed and even though I didn't jump, I got lost in the city, hurt myself, nearly hurt others, until someone called the police few hours later.
- rightbyte 2y ago
  Ok I see. It is really hard for me to relate to, the feeling of believing I am Piccard. Like do you want logical reasoning? 'I am Gandalf' 'So where is your beard?' Or just reassurence? 'I am Gandalf' 'No you are not'
  - throw4950sh06 2y ago
    You're reading into it too much. You don't think you're actually Picard or Kirk, you think the world around you is very similar to the stories, but not actually the story itself. In my case, it went like this: Whoa, my crew is telepathically beaming me instructions and we are right in the middle of a mission. Where the fuck am I? Crew, give me my command protocols. Oh, I command a starship? Sure, sorry, the heat around here, I might be hit with something, I don't remember, help me! Oh, you're going to transport me? Sure, go ahead, let me just run away from this commando waiting on the hallway using the only other exit - the window... Now it makes sense that I'm a starship captain, why would a commando be waiting there otherwise... (Your mileage may vary)

seszett 2y ago

Since she was 100 km away, it didn't make sense she was going to be there in 15 minutes by normal means, so it meant either she was lying or OP was actually going to be teleported. OP apparently chose to believe the latter, since it confirmed their current delusion. So it didn't postpone anything, maybe if she had given a realistic ETA (or just said "I'm coming, wait for me") it would have worked though. It's very difficult to know what to do in these situations though, I've been on the side of that girlfriend and you just can't have a full understand of what's going on in the head of the other person, everything is just walking on eggs, except the eggs are actually landmines.

aleph_minus_one 2y ago
> I've been on the side of that girlfriend and you just can't have a full understand of what's going on in the head of the other person, everything is just walking on eggs, except the eggs are actually landmines. The problem here in my opinion is rather that most people are used to lie, manipulate and betray (in society this behaviour is actually euphemized via the term "white lies"). In this particular case, such a behaviour does have consequences. See the example of this thread where the girlfriend claims she will be there in 15 minutes, despite being 100 km away. Since most people are not used to being honest (or, I assume, actually never were), they give similar descriptions of their difficulties when their lies do have consequences like your "everything is just walking on eggs, except the eggs are actually landmines".
- seszett 2y ago
  It's a bit more complicated than just "not being used being honest". Being 100% honest and not hiding anything doesn't work either, so it's a constant balancing act between telling them the truth, reassuring them and sometimes indeed shielding from the harsh truth by avoiding from mentioning something, which I do believe is different from lying. Lying is out of question though and I think the people who resort to that do it out of laziness more than anything, or maybe well-intentioned wishful thinking in the case of the aforementioned girlfriend. But this is always harmful, not just with psychotic persons.
  - tdeck 2y ago
    It's interesting how OP conflates telling white lies with "betraying" - kinda feels like there are some issues to work through there.
    - aleph_minus_one 2y ago
      > It's interesting how OP conflates telling white lies with "betraying" This statement exactly proves my point concerning how dishonest and betraying most people are.
      - genrilz 2y ago
        I think what GP is saying is that white lies are not necessarily betrayal. Betrayal is when someone violates your trust somehow. [0] You can see some examples of lying in the wiktionary definition I linked. (see the last two definitions) However, both these definitions involve the lie causing some negative consequence. A white lie is specifically a lie done to spare someones feelings. It's possible that the white lie can cause negative consequences, but that is not always the case. To take a concrete example, consider the classic white lie "no, that dress doesn't make you look fat". It is possible that this could cause someone to wear an ugly dress, but the person probably looked at themselves in the mirror too, so they probably will end up choosing a dress that doesn't look awful. In this case there is no negative consequence associated with the white lie unless person wearing the dress is unable to accurately self assess. (which is something the speaker hopefully would know about the dress wearer) You could define being lied to as a violation of your trust. In particular, I think autistic people often can't pick up on social cues, and so rely more on people speaking the truth to them. However, that doesn't mean white lies are betrayal for everyone. If you in particular feel like white lies are betrayal, you might want to tell people in your life that so they know it's important to you. They won't automatically know and it isn't automatically important to them. [0]: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/betray#English https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/betray#English
        aleph_minus_one 2y ago
- throw4950sh06 2y ago
  In this particular case, it was sort of the opposite. I'm used to her always being honest, so when she told me it's 15 minutes I trusted her 100%. She was getting a friend to rescue me, and she was counting on me trusting her and waiting at home, but unfortunately that was of no use as I went off to the city before they could even pack their things after that call.
  - aleph_minus_one 2y ago
    > I'm used to her always being honest, so when she told me it's 15 minutes I trusted her 100%. But she lied to you - and this lead to your dangerous chain of thoughts.
    - deleted 2y ago
      [deleted]
  - DiggyJohnson 2y ago
    Should she have been more honest and said "X will be their shortly. I'm really worried about you, please stay put."? Just trying to follow this chain of reasoning.
    - throw4950sh06 2y ago
      Yes, that would work. I was really looking for confirmation, so if she said something like this the issue could be avoided. But who knows what I'd come up with 10 minutes later...
anal_reactor 2y ago
This ruins my LSD trips. Instead of enjoying the high I end up being scared that I might do something stupid that sober me will later regret.
- naming_the_user 2y ago
  This is the reason that I've only ever done LSD once. It wasn't especially anxiety inducing for the most part and was quite fun, but I feel as if I just got lucky and that in a slightly different circumstance I could just have convinced myself that my apartment window was in fact the front door and fall out of it.
- zmgsabst 2y ago
  Out of curiosity, what is it you imagine would go wrong?
  - upghost 2y ago
    I'm going to assume "selecting a username" :D
    - DiggyJohnson 2y ago
      lmfao
  - anal_reactor 2y ago
    I don't know, I can try cooking something and actually making a fire

throw4950sh06 2y ago

Retrospectively, it was a total blunder - not truly hers since she couldn't be expected to act perfectly in that situation, but it's definitely something we've discussed as the TOP ONE thing to never do and always mention it to others when discussing situations like that. It didn't postpone anything. I called her because I knew I'm going mad and wanted to confirm if it's true or not. Of course I didn't word it this way, though. What she said confirmed the delusion, nearly got me killed and even though I didn't jump, I got lost in the city, hurt myself, nearly hurt others, until someone called the police few hours later.

rightbyte 2y ago
Ok I see. It is really hard for me to relate to, the feeling of believing I am Piccard. Like do you want logical reasoning? 'I am Gandalf' 'So where is your beard?' Or just reassurence? 'I am Gandalf' 'No you are not'
- throw4950sh06 2y ago
  You're reading into it too much. You don't think you're actually Picard or Kirk, you think the world around you is very similar to the stories, but not actually the story itself. In my case, it went like this: Whoa, my crew is telepathically beaming me instructions and we are right in the middle of a mission. Where the fuck am I? Crew, give me my command protocols. Oh, I command a starship? Sure, sorry, the heat around here, I might be hit with something, I don't remember, help me! Oh, you're going to transport me? Sure, go ahead, let me just run away from this commando waiting on the hallway using the only other exit - the window... Now it makes sense that I'm a starship captain, why would a commando be waiting there otherwise... (Your mileage may vary)