This is all purely anecdotal as I've noted at the beginning, because there's no studies on this or anyone looking into this at all. I don't mean myself, I mean

This is all purely anecdotal as I've noted at the beginning, because there's no studies on this or anyone looking into this at all. I don't mean myself, I mean the heterosexual women and men I know. I'm gay, almost all my friends are women and it's just what I've observed. And, to be clear, I'm not blaming women. Because relationships, too, are a performance. This part is really important: > Women want to deal with things like grappling with the shame of dating a man who paints his nails and the social repercussions of that It's not just men who lose respect when masculinity isn't performed to a high enough standard, women associated with them lose respect too. Women have a lot to deal with, it's unreasonable for them to also take on additional emotional burden when they already have to manage the appearance of their relationship to outsiders. As for how I know how they "feel" - well, I don't. But I see their actions and what they choose to tell me. From what I've seen, it's extremely risky for heterosexual men to be vulnerable in their relationships. The odds are incredibly high that will come back to bite them, often immediately, sometimes much later. And, women seem very hesitant to talk about any perceived feminine traits in the men they date. Typically, they do the opposite, almost talk them up. I think there's some perception management going on.