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I know a few couples making an incredible amount of money (both engineers, or lawyers, or doctors, or some combination thereof) on a path to retire by 40 (50 at

I know a few couples making an incredible amount of money (both engineers, or lawyers, or doctors, or some combination thereof) on a path to retire by 40 (50 at the latest) with no kids, and they don't seem to have any desire to have children to spend those post-retirement years with. Their lives are full of collections, but I just look at those trinkets and shrug. I'd rather have my kids go hang out with their kids in the back yard and throw a ball around, scrape a knee, cry, grow, and then extend an invitation to hang out again next weekend. But I can't because they have their "reasons" to not have children which have always seemed superficial (barring the obvious serious health issues) and usually based on a fear mindset and a desire to enjoy a life of overconsumption, leisure, and gluttony.

roykent 2y ago
That's a pretty wild interpretation of the child-free life. From the other side, that description of a weekend with kids sounds incredibly boring, but I know from my friends and family that do have children that they genuinely get a lot of depth from those experiences. And even I enjoy that occasionally. It sounds like you project a lot onto what you think the other side experiences. And you also seem upset that there are people that don't make the same choices as you about how to live their lives. I can assure you that, for many, it's not about fear, over-consumption, leisure and gluttony. And I encourage you to learn more about that, especially in the event that one of your own children decides to be child-free themselves. One book that I found helpful is called The Baby Decision: How to Make the Most Important Choice of Your Life. Some of it is obvious, but it really goes over both sides really well. It helped me come to terms with my decision to not have kids, and also helped me really understand why some people do have that drive. Now I have a healthy circle of friends that include both child-free and people with children. And for a lot of us, we don't dislike kids, we just don't want to raise them.
- ToDougie 2y ago
  Before I had kids, I didn't have kids -- so I know both sides of the experience. You are only able to guess. Saying that I seem upset sure seems a lot like projection, which is a common technique for the offended. You weren't the target of my post, but you feel like you are -- ruminate on that.
shiroiushi 2y ago
>I'd rather have my kids go hang out with their kids in the back yard and throw a ball around It sounds like you need a pet, not kids. You're not going to spend your post-retirement years with kids: your kids are going to go to college while you're still working, and then move on with their lives as they build their careers, date, make new families, etc. Hanging out with their retired parents isn't something kids do very much; they're too busy with their own lives. That time where you hang out with your kids in the back yard and throw a ball around lasts about 18 years (subtracting the years where the kid is too small to do anything interesting), and you have to fit that time in around your own work schedule. I've never understood this crazy mentality that some people have, thinking their kids are going to be around them for the rest of their lives. After all, are you still living with your parents, and do you plan to do so until they die?
- watwut 2y ago
  Some people do care about their elderly parents and help them out.
- ToDougie 2y ago
  Wow. I struck a nerve.
freilanzer 2y ago
> usually based on a fear mindset and a desire to enjoy a life of overconsumption, leisure, and gluttony. Not everybody can be a saint like you, your Holiness.

roykent 2y ago

That's a pretty wild interpretation of the child-free life. From the other side, that description of a weekend with kids sounds incredibly boring, but I know from my friends and family that do have children that they genuinely get a lot of depth from those experiences. And even I enjoy that occasionally. It sounds like you project a lot onto what you think the other side experiences. And you also seem upset that there are people that don't make the same choices as you about how to live their lives. I can assure you that, for many, it's not about fear, over-consumption, leisure and gluttony. And I encourage you to learn more about that, especially in the event that one of your own children decides to be child-free themselves. One book that I found helpful is called The Baby Decision: How to Make the Most Important Choice of Your Life. Some of it is obvious, but it really goes over both sides really well. It helped me come to terms with my decision to not have kids, and also helped me really understand why some people do have that drive. Now I have a healthy circle of friends that include both child-free and people with children. And for a lot of us, we don't dislike kids, we just don't want to raise them.

ToDougie 2y ago
Before I had kids, I didn't have kids -- so I know both sides of the experience. You are only able to guess. Saying that I seem upset sure seems a lot like projection, which is a common technique for the offended. You weren't the target of my post, but you feel like you are -- ruminate on that.

shiroiushi 2y ago

>I'd rather have my kids go hang out with their kids in the back yard and throw a ball around It sounds like you need a pet, not kids. You're not going to spend your post-retirement years with kids: your kids are going to go to college while you're still working, and then move on with their lives as they build their careers, date, make new families, etc. Hanging out with their retired parents isn't something kids do very much; they're too busy with their own lives. That time where you hang out with your kids in the back yard and throw a ball around lasts about 18 years (subtracting the years where the kid is too small to do anything interesting), and you have to fit that time in around your own work schedule. I've never understood this crazy mentality that some people have, thinking their kids are going to be around them for the rest of their lives. After all, are you still living with your parents, and do you plan to do so until they die?

watwut 2y ago
Some people do care about their elderly parents and help them out.
ToDougie 2y ago
Wow. I struck a nerve.

freilanzer 2y ago

> usually based on a fear mindset and a desire to enjoy a life of overconsumption, leisure, and gluttony. Not everybody can be a saint like you, your Holiness.