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>For an example, just look at the people who never left your hometown compared to the ones who went and made a life for themselves. It's pretty miserable and de

>For an example, just look at the people who never left your hometown compared to the ones who went and made a life for themselves. It's pretty miserable and depressing to see grown adults trapped as the same person they were in high school. My experience is the opposite. Most people that I know that stayed in my hometown earned less but were married and homeowners by 25, had children and parental daycare by 30. On the other hand, Most of my peers that moved to the Bay Area are struggling to make the life goals they want. They earn twice as much, but are still priced out of homeownership at 35 and struggle to raise children without community support. Maybe your experience is different, but IMHO, community is a huge net positive, and life in isolation stifles personal growth. Not every social situation is rigidly hierarchical and abusive.

jwells89 2y ago
I may be misinterpreting, but I think that what the quoted post is talking about is probably independent from the kind of development you’ve mentioned. For instance, while the person who never moved from their hometown might’ve been able to hit societal goalposts earlier on, they may never have had the opportunity to explore, experiment, and figure themselves and what they want to do out (as opposed to the identity they’d picked up via osmosis from family). Speaking personally, in retrospect I was certainly underdeveloped in that way until my late 20s and early 30s, even though I couldn’t perceive that at the time. The requisite independence/autonomy and experience just wasn’t there until several years later. Had I locked myself into my situation with a marriage and children at that age I think it’s quite likely I would’ve come to regret it in the years following, increasing risk of outcomes such as divorce.
- dzhiurgis 2y ago
  There might be some natural selection there. Some were attracted to experiment and explore (some had shitty family) and left for better pastures.

jwells89 2y ago

I may be misinterpreting, but I think that what the quoted post is talking about is probably independent from the kind of development you’ve mentioned. For instance, while the person who never moved from their hometown might’ve been able to hit societal goalposts earlier on, they may never have had the opportunity to explore, experiment, and figure themselves and what they want to do out (as opposed to the identity they’d picked up via osmosis from family). Speaking personally, in retrospect I was certainly underdeveloped in that way until my late 20s and early 30s, even though I couldn’t perceive that at the time. The requisite independence/autonomy and experience just wasn’t there until several years later. Had I locked myself into my situation with a marriage and children at that age I think it’s quite likely I would’ve come to regret it in the years following, increasing risk of outcomes such as divorce.

dzhiurgis 2y ago
There might be some natural selection there. Some were attracted to experiment and explore (some had shitty family) and left for better pastures.