This is a tough problem that I've had to wrestle with a few times (not in academia). I haven't found any comfortable way out of it. > Her approach is to tell t

This is a tough problem that I've had to wrestle with a few times (not in academia). I haven't found any comfortable way out of it. > Her approach is to tell the individual that she doesn’t feel that she’s the best person to write the letter, because “in my experience you did not have the chance to show all your attributes” while her employee. This has been my approach as well. In my mind, a letter of recommendation is less about recommending the person as a person, and more about describing how they performed under my supervision. If they haven't performed well, it may not be because they're lacking in some way (it may be because they were a poor fit or other things not really under their control), so this sort of response allows them that benefit of the doubt.