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> The responsibility to follow up is also you. You are kidding, right? They don't get back to you, at all. After multiple emails and messages. Ghosting by V
by robomartin 2y ago
> The responsibility to follow up is also you.
You are kidding, right? They don't get back to you, at all. After multiple emails and messages.
Ghosting by VC's communicates that you are so unimportant and beneath them as a person that they cannot even bother to exhibit the common decency of at least saying "Sorry mate, we are not going to pursue this". Not even that.
You are nothing to them, and they don't have a problem showing it.
I have found a few --very few-- exceptions to this. Very few. One hand, maybe two at the most. As an example, I have been bouncing emails back and forth with someone who has been traveling all over the world to various conferences since we first made contact, some six months ago.
I have been astounded by the respect and consideration he has shown throughout this experience. Astounded, because, by comparison, everyone else looks like inconsiderate assholes. He has taken the time to email me every week or two while keeping the conversation alive and actually apologized for not having time to engage. Coincidentally, he emailed me today. We are meeting next week as he passes by Los Angeles for yet another conference. That's a person I would love to work work with.
- gaws 2y ago> You are kidding, right? No. Your previous point -- "'Let's meet this week' ... and then nothing, ghosted" -- sounded like you didn't try to follow up. Your diatribe provided the much-needed context we wish you included originally.
- robomartin 2y agoThat was a summary. If I had to write every single one of those bullet points in full detail it would require hundreds of posts. Instead of "The responsibility to follow up is also you." you could have asked a question, like "Did you follow up? What happened?", which would have led to more information on the one item that you thought might not have been clear. In other words, your response sounded like it came from thinking "Duh! You are supposed to follow-up!". The answer to that question would have been: Yes. Definitely. Multiple times, via email, SMS and LinkedIn message. No response whatsoever. Ghosted. It is impossible to decode how these people think. Here's an example of an actual conversation (anonymized): VC 25AUG: Hi Martin, lets set up a follow up call this upcoming week ME 25AUG: Sounds good. Let me know what works for you. If it’s easier, just text me on my cell: XXX-XXX-XXXX. No response. ME 26AUG: Following-up. Let me know when you might have time for a call. No response. ME 28AUG: Checking in. Do you have time to meet this week as up proposed? I am good any day. Afternoons are best. No response. ME 02SEP: I understand you might be busy. Can we try to meet this week? No response. ME 09OCT: A bit of time has passed since you suggested we meet. Do you have time for a quick call this week? No response. How do you decode when someone tell you, on Sunday, "let's meet this week" and then you are ghosted? To add context, we met in person many months before this conversation. This was not a case of him not knowing who I am and what I am doing. We met at a conference in Zurich where I put on a 30 minute presentation, with him in the audience just a few feet in front of me. And, on top of that, I see him posting crap on LinkedIn every day. So, it isn't a case of not having 30 seconds to have the decency to reply with something like "Sorry Martin. We are going to pass on this at the moment. If I learn of someone who might be a good fit for your, I'll be sure to send them your way.". That took me no more than 20 seconds to write. Why don't VC's have the common decency to treat human beings like equals as opposed to insignificant pawns in their game? BTW, the same problem exists in the job market. Ghosting seems to be the new normal across a whole range of human interactions. I was just talking to a family member this last weekend who took me through her job-hunting journey. The only word that fits is: Unbelievable. Is this a cultural shift? Maybe I am too old-school. I try to treat people with respect and consideration. What has changed that makes behaviors like ghosting so commonplace? Don't know.