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Anyone else think living without goals is the way to go? For the majority of my life I was very goal oriented and would make sure every hour of the day was fil

Anyone else think living without goals is the way to go? For the majority of my life I was very goal oriented and would make sure every hour of the day was filled. Everyday was a todo list. I scheduled the occasional leisure activity but even these were part of some goal such as 'travel to 5 countries in 1 year" Recently I just decided to give up any goals and any expectations. What I found out was that goals were stressing me out. It made me unhappy. I seeked my identity on some future achievement. It's something I think a lot of entepreneurs experience too... Now I just live life and experience whatever comes my way. I still work towards things but if a friend asks me to skip a workday to catch a movie, I no longer give them the "I'm busy" excuse.

s_kilk 14y ago
> Anyone else think living without goals is the way to go? Yes, being eternally 'busy' and obsessed with goals is probably the quickest way to turn your life into a vortex of depressing bullshit, well, aside from prison or hard manual labor. Take it easy, enjoy life and get a few hours of good quality work done most days of the week.
- koide 14y ago
  Hard manual labor can be very refreshing and enlightening. One of my most elightening periods ocurred when I was packing a product at a factory. If you keep your body busy with repetitive and tiring work, your mind can do wonders. Not forever, certainly, but once you are accustomed to chair gymnastics, a day of tiring physical work after another really puts things in perspective.
  - s_kilk 14y ago
    I'm a farm-lad, so no stranger to good old-fashioned work :) I was being flippant in my above comment, and more referring to the back-breaking, soul-devouring variant of 'manual labor', the kind that drives people to drink and ruins the creative spirit. Otherwise, I do agree, sometimes it's good to do some manual work, put the body on auto-pilot and let the mind wander. Personally I seem to get most of my best thinking time when I'm either walking, scrubbing floors, loading a van, etc...
tome 14y ago
Having unstructured social time should be one of your goals too!
ericabiz 14y ago
I discovered this last year, too, and ended up not setting any goals: http://www.erica.biz/2011/2011-goals/ http://www.erica.biz/2011/2011-goals/ 2011 was a great year. I met my future spouse, bought an RV, and we went traveling together. It went so well that I didn't set any goals for 2012, either. Now I have a daily list of things to do (how I write that and what's on it is vastly different from most people's--that will probably be my next blog post), but I don't really set over-reaching goals. I don't need to. I know that what I need will show up when I need it--and that provides me a sense of peace I haven't had until recently. My business is more successful, my blog has more readers, and, most importantly, I am happier without goals.
einhverfr 14y ago
Additionally if you are so driven towards goals do you see the opportunities you pass by?
simondlr 14y ago
I always had a sense of urgency (sometimes it creeps through again). It's much less now and I'm more content. I always thought I'd have time to enjoy sunsets, smelling the proverbial flowers once I achieved what I wanted to do. Then one day, in a cliche moment of clarity, it dawned on me that I'll always have something I'd want to achieve: create a hugely successful site, write a bestseller, play music in stadiums. I'll never be satisfied. So instead, each day, I try to find beauty and contentedness in the world around me. Creating smiles where I go, absorbing late afternoon sun on my skin, etc. That mindshift made me reappreciate the place I've lived in for 16 years. The mountains were suddenly beautiful, the people, etc. That doesn't mean I still don't have goals. I've just made them realistic, asking myself why I want to achieve that goal. It shouldn't be to fill the "emptiness" that the author talks about. My new years resolution for the year for example is to run a 10km race (getting close!).
re_todd 14y ago
Living with less goals has made me happier. I used to have too many difficult unrealistic goals. It just caused a lot of stress and anxiety in my life. It helped to keep some of the goals, but get rid of the deadline I had on those goals. Instead of saying "I need to get this certification in 3 months", my attitude is "I'll study 2-3 hours a week and take it if and when I feel ready". Shooting for smaller, flexible goals makes a big difference.
watmough 14y ago
It's great to have fun, but I find I like to have goals that allow me to focus on what is necessary, and try and de-emphasize those things that are not really necessary. My current goals include code that will hopefully contribute substantially to the ease with which I can do my job, and to the happiness of our customers. This is achievable, and a great way to maintain focus.
groby_b 14y ago
You know what? I've lived 20+ years without goals or expectations, and actually made a great career while doing it. It was a great time. And yet, recently, I'm compelled to set myself goals, to live up to expectations, because only ambling around gets old after a while. I suggest that as always in life, the golden path is somewhere in the middle.
crazygringo 14y ago
No. I've tried it both ways. Without goals is fine for a year or three, especially if you've been living "with goals" your whole life... Indeed, it can be very refreshing. ...but then, once you've hung out on the beach enough, or read enough books, or watched enough movies, or built enough fun little programming projects just messing around, you realize that you're not building to anything long-term, and you're only on Earth for a few short decades. Goals are necessary so that, ten, twenty, thirty years from now, you're doing the things you want to be doing. For example, changing the world for the better, if that's your thing, or contributing to cutting-edge biology, if that's your thing.
bbgm 14y ago
You can combine the two as well. I keep high level, amorphous goals, a few specific (usually tactical) goals, but generally don't try and set too many goals. Having flexibility between fuzzy boundaries has served me quite well and I tend to enjoy work and life as a result. Of course, I know people who can't function that way, so it's hardly appropriate to say that it's the one true approach.
rfugger 14y ago
For me, the point of goals is to get myself in motion. Once I'm going, though, the goals can change or disappear altogether.

s_kilk 14y ago

> Anyone else think living without goals is the way to go? Yes, being eternally 'busy' and obsessed with goals is probably the quickest way to turn your life into a vortex of depressing bullshit, well, aside from prison or hard manual labor. Take it easy, enjoy life and get a few hours of good quality work done most days of the week.

koide 14y ago
Hard manual labor can be very refreshing and enlightening. One of my most elightening periods ocurred when I was packing a product at a factory. If you keep your body busy with repetitive and tiring work, your mind can do wonders. Not forever, certainly, but once you are accustomed to chair gymnastics, a day of tiring physical work after another really puts things in perspective.
- s_kilk 14y ago
  I'm a farm-lad, so no stranger to good old-fashioned work :) I was being flippant in my above comment, and more referring to the back-breaking, soul-devouring variant of 'manual labor', the kind that drives people to drink and ruins the creative spirit. Otherwise, I do agree, sometimes it's good to do some manual work, put the body on auto-pilot and let the mind wander. Personally I seem to get most of my best thinking time when I'm either walking, scrubbing floors, loading a van, etc...

tome 14y ago

Having unstructured social time should be one of your goals too!

ericabiz 14y ago

I discovered this last year, too, and ended up not setting any goals: http://www.erica.biz/2011/2011-goals/ http://www.erica.biz/2011/2011-goals/ 2011 was a great year. I met my future spouse, bought an RV, and we went traveling together. It went so well that I didn't set any goals for 2012, either. Now I have a daily list of things to do (how I write that and what's on it is vastly different from most people's--that will probably be my next blog post), but I don't really set over-reaching goals. I don't need to. I know that what I need will show up when I need it--and that provides me a sense of peace I haven't had until recently. My business is more successful, my blog has more readers, and, most importantly, I am happier without goals.

einhverfr 14y ago

Additionally if you are so driven towards goals do you see the opportunities you pass by?

simondlr 14y ago

I always had a sense of urgency (sometimes it creeps through again). It's much less now and I'm more content. I always thought I'd have time to enjoy sunsets, smelling the proverbial flowers once I achieved what I wanted to do. Then one day, in a cliche moment of clarity, it dawned on me that I'll always have something I'd want to achieve: create a hugely successful site, write a bestseller, play music in stadiums. I'll never be satisfied. So instead, each day, I try to find beauty and contentedness in the world around me. Creating smiles where I go, absorbing late afternoon sun on my skin, etc. That mindshift made me reappreciate the place I've lived in for 16 years. The mountains were suddenly beautiful, the people, etc. That doesn't mean I still don't have goals. I've just made them realistic, asking myself why I want to achieve that goal. It shouldn't be to fill the "emptiness" that the author talks about. My new years resolution for the year for example is to run a 10km race (getting close!).

re_todd 14y ago

Living with less goals has made me happier. I used to have too many difficult unrealistic goals. It just caused a lot of stress and anxiety in my life. It helped to keep some of the goals, but get rid of the deadline I had on those goals. Instead of saying "I need to get this certification in 3 months", my attitude is "I'll study 2-3 hours a week and take it if and when I feel ready". Shooting for smaller, flexible goals makes a big difference.

watmough 14y ago

It's great to have fun, but I find I like to have goals that allow me to focus on what is necessary, and try and de-emphasize those things that are not really necessary. My current goals include code that will hopefully contribute substantially to the ease with which I can do my job, and to the happiness of our customers. This is achievable, and a great way to maintain focus.

groby_b 14y ago

You know what? I've lived 20+ years without goals or expectations, and actually made a great career while doing it. It was a great time. And yet, recently, I'm compelled to set myself goals, to live up to expectations, because only ambling around gets old after a while. I suggest that as always in life, the golden path is somewhere in the middle.

crazygringo 14y ago

No. I've tried it both ways. Without goals is fine for a year or three, especially if you've been living "with goals" your whole life... Indeed, it can be very refreshing. ...but then, once you've hung out on the beach enough, or read enough books, or watched enough movies, or built enough fun little programming projects just messing around, you realize that you're not building to anything long-term, and you're only on Earth for a few short decades. Goals are necessary so that, ten, twenty, thirty years from now, you're doing the things you want to be doing. For example, changing the world for the better, if that's your thing, or contributing to cutting-edge biology, if that's your thing.

bbgm 14y ago

You can combine the two as well. I keep high level, amorphous goals, a few specific (usually tactical) goals, but generally don't try and set too many goals. Having flexibility between fuzzy boundaries has served me quite well and I tend to enjoy work and life as a result. Of course, I know people who can't function that way, so it's hardly appropriate to say that it's the one true approach.

rfugger 14y ago

For me, the point of goals is to get myself in motion. Once I'm going, though, the goals can change or disappear altogether.