4 ms·

It has an opportunity cost. It's not burdensome to be challenged, per se, it's burdensome to repeat that, "Yes, I think trans people are humans with complex int

It has an opportunity cost. It's not burdensome to be challenged, per se, it's burdensome to repeat that, "Yes, I think trans people are humans with complex interior lives who mostly want to be left alone. No, they are not coming into bathrooms en masse to molest you. Yes, they deserve to just get on with their lives. No, we shouldn't mock them for who they are" etc. etc. It takes someone 3-5 seconds to "just asking questions" and it takes me much more than that to respond. There's an obvious imbalance there that leads to: a) It's a lot more exhausting to respond than to ask b) It's vulnerable to malicious askers abusing my good faith answering time So while, with close friends, I'm happy to answer questions. Or with well meaning allies who genuinely want to learn and just don't understand. But like, random folks? On an internet forum? Nah. They can ask and I can say, "Sorry, let's just not engage."

JumpCrisscross 2y ago
> it's burdensome to repeat that, "Yes, I think trans people are humans with complex interior lives who mostly want to be left alone So…don’t. Listen to why they think that. The point is it’s fine to walk away still disagreeing but understanding why a little better. > On an internet forum? Oh hell no, I’m talking about in person.
- marxisttemp 2y ago
  [flagged]
  - nataliste 2y ago
    [flagged]
    - marxisttemp 2y ago
      No, I assure you I’m doing no such thing! Right now I’m doing my stretches :)
  - JumpCrisscross 2y ago
    > listen to someone explain why they think trans people aren’t humans with complex interior lives who mostly want to be left alone Honestly, yea. Because here’s the wild thing: they’re not crazy. Or at least, they’re no crazier than the ostensibly-tolerant New Yorkers who have all kinds of misconceptions about a separate portfolio of characteristics. They’re also a significant fraction of voters. So if trans rights are something you actually care about, you should absolutely understand the arguments that sway a disinterested centre. (And I can’t think of a better argument for someone disinterested than one who won’t even entertain a conversation.) On almost any issue there are passionate fringes and a disinterested centre interested in casually discussing a topic or not discussing it at all. Understanding the mechanics around how the former motivate (or exhaust) the latter is interesting and core to democratic politics.
    - marxisttemp 2y ago
      okay. I grew up on a farm in Maine btw, I can guarantee I have more interaction with Trump voters than you. My own brother has swallowed the anti trans propaganda. I’ve heard all the tired, hateful arguments they make but have fun wasting your time listening to both sides
      - JumpCrisscross 2y ago
        > grew up on a farm in Maine btw, I can guarantee I have more interaction with Trump voters than you I raise you rural Wyoming, Arizona and the California Indian-American community. > own brother has swallowed the anti trans propaganda. I’ve heard all the tired, hateful arguments they make Sure. Then there is nothing more to be learned from them—listening doesn’t imply listening infinitely. Most people never get to step one. They have a totem of the other side’s fears and arguments (or collapse the issue into a false dichotomy). I certainly don’t understand how what should be a niche, private issue became so relatable to so many in this way. (And I suspect those who see trans people as another colour of human being don’t either. Or we’d be able to address it.)

JumpCrisscross 2y ago

> it's burdensome to repeat that, "Yes, I think trans people are humans with complex interior lives who mostly want to be left alone So…don’t. Listen to why they think that. The point is it’s fine to walk away still disagreeing but understanding why a little better. > On an internet forum? Oh hell no, I’m talking about in person.

marxisttemp 2y ago
[flagged]
- nataliste 2y ago
  [flagged]
  - marxisttemp 2y ago
    No, I assure you I’m doing no such thing! Right now I’m doing my stretches :)
- JumpCrisscross 2y ago
  > listen to someone explain why they think trans people aren’t humans with complex interior lives who mostly want to be left alone Honestly, yea. Because here’s the wild thing: they’re not crazy. Or at least, they’re no crazier than the ostensibly-tolerant New Yorkers who have all kinds of misconceptions about a separate portfolio of characteristics. They’re also a significant fraction of voters. So if trans rights are something you actually care about, you should absolutely understand the arguments that sway a disinterested centre. (And I can’t think of a better argument for someone disinterested than one who won’t even entertain a conversation.) On almost any issue there are passionate fringes and a disinterested centre interested in casually discussing a topic or not discussing it at all. Understanding the mechanics around how the former motivate (or exhaust) the latter is interesting and core to democratic politics.
  - marxisttemp 2y ago
    okay. I grew up on a farm in Maine btw, I can guarantee I have more interaction with Trump voters than you. My own brother has swallowed the anti trans propaganda. I’ve heard all the tired, hateful arguments they make but have fun wasting your time listening to both sides
    - JumpCrisscross 2y ago
      > grew up on a farm in Maine btw, I can guarantee I have more interaction with Trump voters than you I raise you rural Wyoming, Arizona and the California Indian-American community. > own brother has swallowed the anti trans propaganda. I’ve heard all the tired, hateful arguments they make Sure. Then there is nothing more to be learned from them—listening doesn’t imply listening infinitely. Most people never get to step one. They have a totem of the other side’s fears and arguments (or collapse the issue into a false dichotomy). I certainly don’t understand how what should be a niche, private issue became so relatable to so many in this way. (And I suspect those who see trans people as another colour of human being don’t either. Or we’d be able to address it.)