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I actively avoid friendships or getting too close to people or animals because loss is too hard. When you love lots of people and animals you're sad all the tim

by kypro 2y ago

I actively avoid friendships or getting too close to people or animals because loss is too hard. When you love lots of people and animals you're sad all the time because you're always losing and missing someone. I'm a bit happier now I'm more alone, but I wish life wasn't like this. Why was I made to love so much if I must eventually lose everyone I love? I struggle to understand how everyone isn't constantly feeling overwhelmed with grief to be honest.

sva_ 2y ago
You kinda accept life for what it is. People come and go, and nothing is permanent against time. Except perhaps concepts and ideas, things that aren't physical. The thought of being unable to make deep connections seems sad and pessimistic to me. Focus on the good parts.
init2null 2y ago
You will always hurt sometimes. Either it's the pain of disconnection, or it's the pain of loss. The former is subtle and easy to ignore, but it's always there. At least it certainly was for me. I've now simply decided to look pain in the eye and embrace it. It is inevitable and important in forming relationships. At least you have mostly fond memories to look back on at the end of it.
- kypro 2y ago
  > At least you have mostly fond memories to look back on at the end of it. This is the worst bit for me. I've never been able to look back without extreme pain. I always wish I did or said something different. Or just that I had more time or was more appreciative in the moment. Trying to live in the moment works better for me. I try to make the most of now and keep change to a minimum so there's not too much to worry about losing and there isn't too much to miss. I think your approach is more healthy, I just don't seem to be able to do it. I think it's something to with ASD. I seem to get very attached to people, animals, places and times. I hate change, especially when it's preeminent and out of my control.

by kypro 2y ago

sva_ 2y ago

You kinda accept life for what it is. People come and go, and nothing is permanent against time. Except perhaps concepts and ideas, things that aren't physical. The thought of being unable to make deep connections seems sad and pessimistic to me. Focus on the good parts.

init2null 2y ago

You will always hurt sometimes. Either it's the pain of disconnection, or it's the pain of loss. The former is subtle and easy to ignore, but it's always there. At least it certainly was for me. I've now simply decided to look pain in the eye and embrace it. It is inevitable and important in forming relationships. At least you have mostly fond memories to look back on at the end of it.

kypro 2y ago
> At least you have mostly fond memories to look back on at the end of it. This is the worst bit for me. I've never been able to look back without extreme pain. I always wish I did or said something different. Or just that I had more time or was more appreciative in the moment. Trying to live in the moment works better for me. I try to make the most of now and keep change to a minimum so there's not too much to worry about losing and there isn't too much to miss. I think your approach is more healthy, I just don't seem to be able to do it. I think it's something to with ASD. I seem to get very attached to people, animals, places and times. I hate change, especially when it's preeminent and out of my control.