I've thought about this for so many hours over the course of months and likely years. Even as a mere college student, I know when it comes down to it, I can onl

I've thought about this for so many hours over the course of months and likely years. Even as a mere college student, I know when it comes down to it, I can only hold onto myself. I've lost countless friends, acquaintances, and good people to just the way of life, or by being a panicky anxious lonely version of myself. Whenever I start to think someone great will stick around, they leave. I don't pay enough attention to the ones who have stayed, who are always there for me. It goes against my inner desires to be selfish and care more for nyself, but ultimately, it's something I've had to recently come to terms with. I have to make sacrifices for my survival. For me it was a diagnosis, for you it could be loss, rejection, depression, disillusionment, anything powerful enough. I'm very introspective now. I gotta stop or else it'll get as deep as an abyss.