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It’s because, for those of us who exist in these realms - be it WoW, EQ, furries, whatever - we get very, very good at being discrete. There’s that initial exci
by stego-tech 2y ago
It’s because, for those of us who exist in these realms - be it WoW, EQ, furries, whatever - we get very, very good at being discrete. There’s that initial excitement when we desperately want to share our joy with our parents or siblings, but all too often that joy is dashed by popular misconceptions, media sensationalism, and flat-out fabrications about “strangers online” and the like. I found solace in online communities as an introvert traumatized by repeated cross-country moves growing up, and when I tried sharing my online friends with my parents, they deleted my social messenger accounts at the time.
So that’s why this stuff often pops up as a “surprise” to those left behind, or comes across as a “double-life”. We often tried to open up and share ourselves, but were shut down for the unorthodox ways we found happiness or identity, and realized the best approach was hard segregation of the two.
Heck, it’s why I still don’t tie my meatspace and authentic selves together. The meatspace me is this reserved but honest engineer who just wants to make good systems that customers like using and be left alone, but the online dinosaur is…_starkly different_, more open and authentic, exuding more confidence and more empathy as well.
We’re unique creatures who adapt to our surroundings, but make no mistake: we always want to share our found happiness with others. Unfortunately, experience often dictates that sharing ourselves so completely is more likely than not to end up causing us great harm, and so we just don’t do it.
- bdjsiqoocwk 2y ago[flagged]
- StefanBatory 2y agoHaha, that's why you will be the last person to know if that ever happens.
- stego-tech 2y agoEh, depends on the “shade”. If they’re the drama type, then yeah, might be time to have a chat about how to do research, tell fact from fiction, what propaganda looks like, etc, lest they become a tabloid-sucker. If it’s the STEM type who just likes the art and community while also running infrastructure, doing vaccine research, or other Good Work (TM)…just be glad they’re using their decently sized paychecks to help out others and build a better community for everyone. Fandom - furry or otherwise - isn’t inherently good or bad, but there are good and bad elements in every fandom.
- bdjsiqoocwk 2y ago[flagged]
- stego-tech 2y agoAgain, it often depends on the “shade” or “persona”. The metaphor I choose to use is that these people were given a blank canvas and told to paint how they see themselves, and decided to go in an unorthodox direction. “Furries” might be the present day term, but there’s quite a lot of evidence that humanity has related itself to animals in some form or another for millennia. I’d suggest trying to be more open minded to these subcultures and identify why their participants derive enjoyment from it, rather than judging based on knee-jerk popular perceptions. Fandoms are full of brilliant people doing excellent work and using their positions in those communities to improve the lives of everyone they can - just as there are narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths manipulating those fandoms to advance personal agendas. Escapism is just as likely a motivation as a sense of community to join a subculture, and one or the other doesn’t automatically make one bad. And for evidence of that, look no further than comic books, superheroes, and the “geeky” media of yore suddenly becoming big blockbusters and mass media of today. Forty years ago, being a Trekkie or D&D fan was the source of derision, ridicule, and alienation, their players and members oft described as indulging in “escapism” and “abandoning obligations to society” by their opponents. Nowadays, they’re viewed in retrospect as champions of alternative perspectives, grassroots community building, and a revitalization of art. Skepticism is healthy, don’t get me wrong, but we should still strive to be objective in our judgements where possible.
- sanqui 2y agoI think you are mischaracterizing both fandoms and furries (which I categorize to be distinct, because they're not "fans" of any particular popular media property, but I already digress). Much like people can form major hobbies in music, fantasy (books), theatre, sports et cetera, being a furry means being appreciative of art of anthropomorphic animals and connecting with other people over that. Now there are many in the furry community who are hurt, traumatized, "not normal", seeking escape as you are saying, and the community is exceptional for giving them space (that's a good thing, this community is then replacing traditional spaces providing community that may be failing them, like churches). But being a furry in itself is nothing indicative of not being able to, at the same time, live a "normal" life that you imagine.