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This kind of story is heartbreaking, and something I think about a lot. My parents don't know me very well, a lot of people don't, and I've always been a very

This kind of story is heartbreaking, and something I think about a lot. My parents don't know me very well, a lot of people don't, and I've always been a very private person. I've also been through a lot, written a lot about that and other things, but it's all across various profiles. I know if something happened to me my parents would probably like to read it to have a better idea of who I was, to maybe be able to feel closer to me or hear more of my voice. But this data is all across various profiles that would just be forgotten. I want to make something that allows for importing data from all these various sources, presenting an interface to parse and peruse it, and making it available only after someone has died to certain named people. Something like this will need to be standardized at some point as so much of our lives becomes increasingly digital.

1R053 2y ago
I do empathise with your desire a lot ...but then such a service gets monetised by advertising, financed with VC money and guess what happens next...
- fragmede 2y ago
  it must suck to be that cynical
  - CatWChainsaw 2y ago
    *unable/unwilling to self-deceive ;)
bradfitz 2y ago
That was what I started to do with Perkeep.org but never find enough time to work on it. At one point I had it importing from all my social media sources but of course everybody broke their APIs. Sigh.
xyst 2y ago
> But this data is all across various profiles that would just be forgotten. Google/Big Data/Advertisers/NSA/MI6 will never forget though ;) It’s scary to think faceless corporations may often know more about yourself than you, your family, and even closest friends. Reminds me of a story of Target sending adverts for baby items to a teenager which accurately predicated she was pregnant before she was even aware [1] It’s all (unencrypted comms, texts, social media, osint, …) archived in massive data centers just waiting to be analyzed. [1] https://www.forbes.com/sites/federicoguerrini/2024/08/30/consumer-protection-in-gaming-european-initiative-targets-video-game-publishers/ https://www.forbes.com/sites/federicoguerrini/2024/08/30/con...?
- ben_w 2y ago
  > Reminds me of a story of Target sending adverts for baby items to a teenager which accurately predicated she was pregnant before she was even aware Given that the big advertisers have collectively decided to show me both dick pills and breast surgery and sanitary pads, and lawyers specialising in renouncing a citizenship I never had for tax purposes for people residing in a country I don't live in, and several other equally stupid examples, I now think such examples were as much over-selling as most of the claims Musk has made about FSD. Only time I've seen an advertisement for something relevant to me, I already had it.
  - OmarShehata 2y ago
    You are likely an outlier. Ad targeting is very good at predicting you IF you fall into a cohort that behaves the same as each other. There's only way to find out the answer to this anyway (export our ad targeting data, share it into an anonymous open source pool, and analyze it)
    - indymike 2y ago
      Honestly I think ad targeting is good at just following me around and showing me what I just looked at. It's been a while since I've even clicked on an ad on purpose.
    - 2y ago
Sakos 2y ago
I have my Google account configured to automatically send an email with my most important usernames and passwords to close family and friends with a brief description of the most important sites I frequented with my main accounts. One of those is the master password to my password manager. I prefer that over some service that could be abandoned or close down before (or even after) I die.
- FrontierProject 2y ago
  What's the trigger for sending the email?
  - mattlondon 2y ago
    When you die. Google knows this, of course. Kidding. But seriously, there is just a timeout you can configure - if you don't login for 3/6/12 months or whatever it triggers. You can grant login access too.
evanmoran 2y ago
Gathering all that together sounds worthwhile, but let me encourage you to share more of yourself in small parts as well. It takes practice to find the right amount to share (it’s a balance and depends on you and them), but taking an extra moment after dinner to ask what they have been up to or share a thought you’ve had recently can really help you connect better to them while you’re alive.
dleeftink 2y ago
I just want to say you needn't feel pressured by relations that could have been by leading a private life. Love and kinship reach beyond knowing one's inner intricacies, and I feel the big stories don't matter all that much when it comes to love and family--it's the walks in the park or sharing a meal, the happenstance moments that are fleeting. And there is still time for many such moments, that remain difficult to capture in any sort of digital legacy we try to impart.
- ruthmarx 2y ago
  I appreciate your comment very much, thank you.
elric 2y ago
> this data is all across various profiles that would just be forgotten I'm quite happy with this. I don't need my stuff correlated. When friends and family die I miss them, but I don't go around snooping through the things they may have left behind, that feels disrespectful. If they wanted me to know about their WoW accomplishments, they would have told me about them.
cpill 2y ago
crazy idea, but perhaps you should find some way to let your parents see who you are while you're alive?
- ruthmarx 2y ago
  Sure, but sometimes death happens before people repair relationships to a point they can really do that.
  - ryanjshaw 2y ago
    It'll be less effort than building the tool you're describing. Are you neuroatypical maybe? Maybe it's just not in you to share like that (it's not in me).
    - ruthmarx 2y ago
      > It'll be less effort than building the tool you're describing. That's not necessarily at all. I could build a rough version in a week. It shouldn't take anyone much effort to imagine that there are all types of situations and broken relationships that could take significantly longer to repair. > Are you neuroatypical maybe? Maybe it's just not in you to share like that (it's not in me). This really has nothing to do with being neurotypical or neurodiverse. There might be some generalizations and correlations there, but really it's just about personality and lived experiences and situations.
      - ryanjshaw 2y ago
        Seems like you have it all figured out. Good luck.

1R053 2y ago

I do empathise with your desire a lot ...but then such a service gets monetised by advertising, financed with VC money and guess what happens next...

fragmede 2y ago
it must suck to be that cynical
- CatWChainsaw 2y ago
  *unable/unwilling to self-deceive ;)

bradfitz 2y ago

That was what I started to do with Perkeep.org but never find enough time to work on it. At one point I had it importing from all my social media sources but of course everybody broke their APIs. Sigh.

xyst 2y ago

> But this data is all across various profiles that would just be forgotten. Google/Big Data/Advertisers/NSA/MI6 will never forget though ;) It’s scary to think faceless corporations may often know more about yourself than you, your family, and even closest friends. Reminds me of a story of Target sending adverts for baby items to a teenager which accurately predicated she was pregnant before she was even aware [1] It’s all (unencrypted comms, texts, social media, osint, …) archived in massive data centers just waiting to be analyzed. [1] https://www.forbes.com/sites/federicoguerrini/2024/08/30/consumer-protection-in-gaming-european-initiative-targets-video-game-publishers/ https://www.forbes.com/sites/federicoguerrini/2024/08/30/con...?

ben_w 2y ago
> Reminds me of a story of Target sending adverts for baby items to a teenager which accurately predicated she was pregnant before she was even aware Given that the big advertisers have collectively decided to show me both dick pills and breast surgery and sanitary pads, and lawyers specialising in renouncing a citizenship I never had for tax purposes for people residing in a country I don't live in, and several other equally stupid examples, I now think such examples were as much over-selling as most of the claims Musk has made about FSD. Only time I've seen an advertisement for something relevant to me, I already had it.
- OmarShehata 2y ago
  You are likely an outlier. Ad targeting is very good at predicting you IF you fall into a cohort that behaves the same as each other. There's only way to find out the answer to this anyway (export our ad targeting data, share it into an anonymous open source pool, and analyze it)
  - indymike 2y ago
    Honestly I think ad targeting is good at just following me around and showing me what I just looked at. It's been a while since I've even clicked on an ad on purpose.
  - 2y ago

Sakos 2y ago

I have my Google account configured to automatically send an email with my most important usernames and passwords to close family and friends with a brief description of the most important sites I frequented with my main accounts. One of those is the master password to my password manager. I prefer that over some service that could be abandoned or close down before (or even after) I die.

FrontierProject 2y ago
What's the trigger for sending the email?
- mattlondon 2y ago
  When you die. Google knows this, of course. Kidding. But seriously, there is just a timeout you can configure - if you don't login for 3/6/12 months or whatever it triggers. You can grant login access too.

evanmoran 2y ago

Gathering all that together sounds worthwhile, but let me encourage you to share more of yourself in small parts as well. It takes practice to find the right amount to share (it’s a balance and depends on you and them), but taking an extra moment after dinner to ask what they have been up to or share a thought you’ve had recently can really help you connect better to them while you’re alive.

dleeftink 2y ago

I just want to say you needn't feel pressured by relations that could have been by leading a private life. Love and kinship reach beyond knowing one's inner intricacies, and I feel the big stories don't matter all that much when it comes to love and family--it's the walks in the park or sharing a meal, the happenstance moments that are fleeting. And there is still time for many such moments, that remain difficult to capture in any sort of digital legacy we try to impart.

ruthmarx 2y ago
I appreciate your comment very much, thank you.

elric 2y ago

> this data is all across various profiles that would just be forgotten I'm quite happy with this. I don't need my stuff correlated. When friends and family die I miss them, but I don't go around snooping through the things they may have left behind, that feels disrespectful. If they wanted me to know about their WoW accomplishments, they would have told me about them.

cpill 2y ago

crazy idea, but perhaps you should find some way to let your parents see who you are while you're alive?

ruthmarx 2y ago
Sure, but sometimes death happens before people repair relationships to a point they can really do that.
- ryanjshaw 2y ago
  It'll be less effort than building the tool you're describing. Are you neuroatypical maybe? Maybe it's just not in you to share like that (it's not in me).
  - ruthmarx 2y ago
    > It'll be less effort than building the tool you're describing. That's not necessarily at all. I could build a rough version in a week. It shouldn't take anyone much effort to imagine that there are all types of situations and broken relationships that could take significantly longer to repair. > Are you neuroatypical maybe? Maybe it's just not in you to share like that (it's not in me). This really has nothing to do with being neurotypical or neurodiverse. There might be some generalizations and correlations there, but really it's just about personality and lived experiences and situations.
    - ryanjshaw 2y ago
      Seems like you have it all figured out. Good luck.