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A woman found a dating app trying to hold people accountable to provide a reasons why they don't want to talk to someone. Okay I get it but something about this

A woman found a dating app trying to hold people accountable to provide a reasons why they don't want to talk to someone. Okay I get it but something about this just hurts my head. What makes you think that whatever reason is chosen will be the truth? Someone unmatches you move on with your life there's obviously reasons but they didn't want to tell you the truth and so no amount of prompting is going to make them tell you the truth. And if they did tell you the truth would you be able to actually accept it? Most of the times I've found that when I tell someone the truth about why I don't want to continue dating with them all they have is excuses and rejections of my premise. They don't understand that it's purely my opinion and what I want and they don't get a choice in that. They had the choice to be the person I wanted them to be but they didn't do it and they didn't want to do that which is fine that's their choice. So telling them again it's kind of useless.

JohnFen 2y ago
> What makes you think that whatever reason is chosen will be the truth? I expect the reasons given will generally be similar to the reason I give when I quit a job: we're just a poor fit for each other. Which will always be the truth, but not informative truth.
jfengel 2y ago
The reason is less important than the acknowledgment that it happened. The really crummy part about ghosting is that you don't know if you should hold out (in hopes they'll come back). Perhaps they just got bad news, or were in a car accident, or lost their phone. Yeah, sure, probably not, but it's polite to let people know that they should move on. The reason is probably untruthful and unhelpful. That part sounds like marketing: people want to believe that it'll help. It won't. But it makes sense as a way to play up the anti-ghosting features. You can't force people to give a truthful answer. But they can compel you acknowledge that you're ghosting if you want to keep using the app. The app sounds like it's designed to appeal to women. That also makes sense: men complain that there are too few women on the apps. Unfortunately, it's the men themselves who drive the women away -- not all men, but it only takes one jackass to really ruin a woman's day. It'll be hard to fix all of that, but ghosting really is a common complaint by women.

JohnFen 2y ago

> What makes you think that whatever reason is chosen will be the truth? I expect the reasons given will generally be similar to the reason I give when I quit a job: we're just a poor fit for each other. Which will always be the truth, but not informative truth.

jfengel 2y ago

The reason is less important than the acknowledgment that it happened. The really crummy part about ghosting is that you don't know if you should hold out (in hopes they'll come back). Perhaps they just got bad news, or were in a car accident, or lost their phone. Yeah, sure, probably not, but it's polite to let people know that they should move on. The reason is probably untruthful and unhelpful. That part sounds like marketing: people want to believe that it'll help. It won't. But it makes sense as a way to play up the anti-ghosting features. You can't force people to give a truthful answer. But they can compel you acknowledge that you're ghosting if you want to keep using the app. The app sounds like it's designed to appeal to women. That also makes sense: men complain that there are too few women on the apps. Unfortunately, it's the men themselves who drive the women away -- not all men, but it only takes one jackass to really ruin a woman's day. It'll be hard to fix all of that, but ghosting really is a common complaint by women.