I think the key point in this post is actually right at the end where the author states that their goal is always to understand the other person. If that's you

I think the key point in this post is actually right at the end where the author states that their goal is always to understand the other person. If that's your goal, I agree it's usually pretty easy to avoid flame wars and get people to talk in respectful ways. For me it often isn't worth it to spend time trying to build understanding of anonymous actors online. But, I think some of these recommendations carry into IRL discussions too. The central question for me is typically not "how can I make this civil" but rather "how much effort do I want to put into this argument?"