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"I try to leverage them together," Denis said. "I will call and say, 'Hey, I sent you an email last week, did you receive that email?' People will typically say

"I try to leverage them together," Denis said. "I will call and say, 'Hey, I sent you an email last week, did you receive that email?' People will typically say, 'No, I never got it.' Of course they didn't because I never sent one." But at that point, the victim already feels like they screwed up by missing an email last week, and now they feel indebted to the attacker. "They feel like they owe me. Then I can say, 'while we are on the phone right now, is it OK if I resend it to you? Can you go ahead and just do this one thing?" I'm immune to this one. Don't send me a fucking email if it's something important. Email can wait. Email can always wait. Email is a filing system for details that are only ever useful when someone says "did you get that email?" I don't feel indebted, I feel annoyed that you expect me to have read your email and have it memorised for whenever it is you may show up to test me on the hyper-contextual trivialities it contained. Always say you didn't get the email when someone asks, and do it with an unrepentant attitude; put them on the back foot. If you've got the time and mental space to recall random emails from x minutes, hours, days in the past, then you probably need to re-evaluate how you prioritise your time and tasks. (This has been true for me for at least a decade. People still get horrified at my number of unread emails. I pity them and the time they spend curating their inbox - I'd rather get shit done or use my free time on literally anything else)

sheepdestroyer 2y ago
For me email is the best, and only, solution for anything important. What would be better, a text message? a phone call? smoke signals? If you send me a physical letter and require that I'm home to receive it, not lose it in my piles of unopened mail, and reply eventually (with a physical mail? lol) it's already a lost cause. Most likely I won't be able to take any note during a phone call, if by the most unbelievable chance I am able to pick up when you decide to call impromptu. Text message, seriously? It's just for spam at this point. It's just the worst 'technical' solution. Unsecure, not travel-proof, etc... An email leaves precise traces (when, who) can be archived, searched, muted or prioritized as I see fit. You can put text picture & urls inside & whatever else, that I can lookup on my own time. If it's at all important : Send an email, then send follow-ups when it looks like the matter's urgency needs it (because as you said, obviously you can't assume I'll read it immediately and then remember it). If it's important -to you- the onus is on you to pick the best technical way to deliver information, and then insist until you get your answer.

sheepdestroyer 2y ago

For me email is the best, and only, solution for anything important. What would be better, a text message? a phone call? smoke signals? If you send me a physical letter and require that I'm home to receive it, not lose it in my piles of unopened mail, and reply eventually (with a physical mail? lol) it's already a lost cause. Most likely I won't be able to take any note during a phone call, if by the most unbelievable chance I am able to pick up when you decide to call impromptu. Text message, seriously? It's just for spam at this point. It's just the worst 'technical' solution. Unsecure, not travel-proof, etc... An email leaves precise traces (when, who) can be archived, searched, muted or prioritized as I see fit. You can put text picture & urls inside & whatever else, that I can lookup on my own time. If it's at all important : Send an email, then send follow-ups when it looks like the matter's urgency needs it (because as you said, obviously you can't assume I'll read it immediately and then remember it). If it's important -to you- the onus is on you to pick the best technical way to deliver information, and then insist until you get your answer.