Ok Haskell programmers, I love you guys but this has now gone too far and I am officially intervening. The rest of the programming community and I are all super

Ok Haskell programmers, I love you guys but this has now gone too far and I am officially intervening. The rest of the programming community and I are all super worried about what all this Haskell is doing for your health. Please stop before it's too late! Perhaps even touch grass, as drastic as I know that sounds.