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Author works fully remotely and lives in a van to save on rent. This is not an easy life and it took a while to get used to it (took 3 years to feel comfortable

by ptero 2y ago

Author works fully remotely and lives in a van to save on rent. This is not an easy life and it took a while to get used to it (took 3 years to feel comfortable). He also bought a parcel of land to build own house. My naive question is why didn't he buy or rent a place in an inexpensive area further away from the Adelaide as a step-up to building own house instead? He could still work remotely, have a place to bring his kids to, not spend 3 years on settling to a lifestyle he doesn't seem to enjoy other than a savings vehicle, etc. etc. An honest question.

gregoriol 2y ago
If he is not living with the kids, then his wife does all the kids care? and pays rent for the kids? Also, why would the kids and wife want to go and live "nowhere" when he builds his dream house, don't they live an ok life where they are and don't need to relocate to a lifestyle that's not theirs?
- Sebb767 2y ago
  > and pays rent for the kids? The way I read it it's implied that they split up [0], so the (former) wife would need to pay rent either way. [0] He also mentions getting custody as a target in an earlier post.
Krei-se 2y ago
Because this lifestyle has nothing to do with freedom, but with fear. Once this house is done all those problems will resurface and changing places because it was, once again, one beer too much is not an option anymore. Stuff you see with preppers all the time: fear, shame and cloaking trauma self-medicating with lots of liquor "a large pint" and "a couple of cans". But actually it's just fear. I can relate from my past crisis years, but those problems, also with finding a place and money in general, vanish once you stop drinking to "solve" your problems and stop running away.
- Sebb767 2y ago
  > Because this lifestyle has nothing to do with freedom, but with fear. What do you presume the author is afraid of/running away from? Genuinely curious, I have a hard time imagining the mindset you see these people in.
  - Krei-se 2y ago
    I was drinking during my IT Jobs and worked remotely a lot, also know some people that consider themselves preppers and apply for guns, etc. I learned neuroscience to understand AI better and stumbled across sociology and my own issues a lot. I gave up drinking a while ago and stopped the running away in an instant. What they are running from is in my experience a repetition of the circumstances that got them to have their first drink and facing those. This way you cycle your social cycle every other years, work kinda the same jobs but in different places, etc. essentially repeating the lifestyle of your parents without evolving. Once you repeat the mistake of ending up in the same situation you wanted to get out of (but in a different city) or again lost all beginners trust to the locals, you just pin it up to the circumstances being "unsafe" or not fitting and go elsewhere. I think the point that someone wrote there how to "convince" their wife of this lifestyle is another crucial part, as its hard to have someone stay with you while being a drunk without them acting out their own trauma with parents or similar, which will never allow the drinker to become healthy out of fear of him leaving or the caretaker gets fed up with the drinker and goes elsewhere. Only way to keep your spouse in this situation is keeping the fear up and providing "security" through material means. Now this is normal life for those and it was for me too, because big parts of society rely on people working mindlessly towards a goal they will never reach, so it's hard to judge them for it. But i would stay away.
- thrayir 2y ago
  What am i reading? Listen to yourself. Youre speaking like youre able to see into peoples minds and into the future. Put your feet on the ground. Youre talking about nothing
  - Krei-se 2y ago

by ptero 2y ago

gregoriol 2y ago

If he is not living with the kids, then his wife does all the kids care? and pays rent for the kids? Also, why would the kids and wife want to go and live "nowhere" when he builds his dream house, don't they live an ok life where they are and don't need to relocate to a lifestyle that's not theirs?

Sebb767 2y ago
> and pays rent for the kids? The way I read it it's implied that they split up [0], so the (former) wife would need to pay rent either way. [0] He also mentions getting custody as a target in an earlier post.

Krei-se 2y ago

Because this lifestyle has nothing to do with freedom, but with fear. Once this house is done all those problems will resurface and changing places because it was, once again, one beer too much is not an option anymore. Stuff you see with preppers all the time: fear, shame and cloaking trauma self-medicating with lots of liquor "a large pint" and "a couple of cans". But actually it's just fear. I can relate from my past crisis years, but those problems, also with finding a place and money in general, vanish once you stop drinking to "solve" your problems and stop running away.

Sebb767 2y ago
> Because this lifestyle has nothing to do with freedom, but with fear. What do you presume the author is afraid of/running away from? Genuinely curious, I have a hard time imagining the mindset you see these people in.
- Krei-se 2y ago
  I was drinking during my IT Jobs and worked remotely a lot, also know some people that consider themselves preppers and apply for guns, etc. I learned neuroscience to understand AI better and stumbled across sociology and my own issues a lot. I gave up drinking a while ago and stopped the running away in an instant. What they are running from is in my experience a repetition of the circumstances that got them to have their first drink and facing those. This way you cycle your social cycle every other years, work kinda the same jobs but in different places, etc. essentially repeating the lifestyle of your parents without evolving. Once you repeat the mistake of ending up in the same situation you wanted to get out of (but in a different city) or again lost all beginners trust to the locals, you just pin it up to the circumstances being "unsafe" or not fitting and go elsewhere. I think the point that someone wrote there how to "convince" their wife of this lifestyle is another crucial part, as its hard to have someone stay with you while being a drunk without them acting out their own trauma with parents or similar, which will never allow the drinker to become healthy out of fear of him leaving or the caretaker gets fed up with the drinker and goes elsewhere. Only way to keep your spouse in this situation is keeping the fear up and providing "security" through material means. Now this is normal life for those and it was for me too, because big parts of society rely on people working mindlessly towards a goal they will never reach, so it's hard to judge them for it. But i would stay away.
thrayir 2y ago
What am i reading? Listen to yourself. Youre speaking like youre able to see into peoples minds and into the future. Put your feet on the ground. Youre talking about nothing
- Krei-se 2y ago