4 ms·

It's not a bad article, and right now there's a lot of hand-wringing in the comments by people who in all frankness probably just don't have the balls to pursue

It's not a bad article, and right now there's a lot of hand-wringing in the comments by people who in all frankness probably just don't have the balls to pursue their passion. Pretty early in my career I decided that the future of a tech bro at a FAANG was not for me so I quit. For one thing I saw that the men who were 10-20 years ahead of me on that track didn't actually have great personal lives. For another Big Tech was rapidly morphing into a net negative for humanity and I was sick of enabling it. I knew I wanted to work with open source because it was ethically superior but didn't know exactly what or how. It led initially to several years of wandering the world as a digital nomad and freelancing to pay the bills. In the long run I started a bootstrapped open source company, now have about 12 people on payroll, and am 15 years expatriated and living in a country that I'm way way happier in with plenty of money and the markers of what people consider "success." It also required me to do many many things that I didn't want to do or never thought I would do, a great example is learning how to sell things effectively, because initially if I didn't, I wouldn't eat. Then later, because it was the difference between just getting by and becoming rich. It is completely possible to live your passion while being successful. To do it you have to temper your passion with realism. You cannot lie to yourself about what the world wants from you nor can you ever use it as an excuse for inaction. Passion requires sacrifice, it's choosing A over B repeatedly, this is its definition. It certainly does mean that you might have to move, or make compromises in other areas of your life. But if you're at the stage where you're still single and childless, and you're light years away from your passion because of money - frankly I think you're just a pussy. You have more freedom at that stage of life than any other. If you're doing something you don't care for, you have nothing to lose by blowing it to smithereens. Or you can go on bitching about it on social media, like 95% of people do, and getting deeply involved in reasons that your dissatisfaction is someone else's fault. Look at older people who stayed in a situation they hated because that was where inertia and a lack of balls kept them. Get to know them. If you want their life to be yours soon enough then keep on doing what you're doing.

jjxw 2y ago
I think it's great that you had the conviction and risk taking appetite to find success and in retrospect be able to say it was the "right" choice for you. I also think there's some great advice in there about benchmarking the road that you're headed down and asking yourself if it is the right road for you. However, I think this comment veers off into a tone that, for me, is a bit judgmental and prescriptive. Even out of the group of people who are single and childless people have different life situations, people have different risk tolerances, and there's not a one size fit all solution to quitting your job and chasing your passion for everyone. Not to mention unfortunately some people sacrifice a lot in pursuit of what they want and end up with nothing or very little to show for it in the end. Again I think your comment comes from a good place and there's some useful advice here, but the unnecessary name calling is a bit of a turn off at least for me and overall reduces the effectiveness of communicating your advice.
- safety1st 2y ago
  That's a very patient and balanced response, which I appreciate! I think that in the last few years Hacker News and Reddit have made me super jaded and that's why I communicated like this - I responded to a comment that was brief and amounted to a rich guy bitching that he can't afford a house. It feels like these forums are filled with an endless stream of people who either don't work that hard or don't know how to manage their money, complaining about how the system is rigged against them. That complaint is fucking dumb. I'm sorry, but "I'm rich but I can't afford to buy a house or take a risk pursuing my passion," is just a dumb take and not a real problem. For those of us who started out life on food stamps, and yet did also grow up in a house, it's kind of an offensive take, in fact. I can't imagine a worse possible excuse for not taking some risks in life -- like this is not someone who has a fire under their ass because they've realized they need to get out of the ghetto, that's for sure. Their problems don't sound serious yet here they are bitching. Are you really sure the soft and considerate communication style is what people like this need? Maybe there are some out there who are a little too comfortable and just need to get whacked on the head.
  - 01HNNWZ0MV43FF 2y ago
    While I'm at it, if I could use my free will to be less of a "pussy" why do you use yours to continue being a huge dick?
  - jjxw 2y ago
    I think it depends on the audience. I have some closer friends that I would be comfortable taking a more aggressive communication style because they know my intent is to help them and sometimes people do need someone to shock them into making a change. For internet strangers, at least in my experience, I think putting people on defensive footing through more aggressive language makes it more difficult to get your point across to most folks. Your goal, however, might be to talk to a group out there that does respond to a more "tough love" angle. I do find it can make productive discussion with those who are going to perceive the language as insulting more difficult if not impossible. Just something to keep in mind depending on your communication goals.
01HNNWZ0MV43FF 2y ago
In my case it's not balls, it's probably autism. I hate traveling because I'm very picky about food > frankly I think you're just a pussy Go to hell and ask yourself how free will exists if someone freely chooses to not exercise their free will. something is inconsistent in your thinking
- safety1st 2y ago
  I had Tourette's symptoms as a kid - motor and vocal tics. They were relatively mild, but serious enough that I had the shit kicked out of me on more than one occasion because I was that weird little kid who kept on twitching and grunting. They got better as I aged but to this day if I'm under stress or sleep deprived they start to creep back in. Sometimes, people still notice. After being beaten up multiple times I devised a way to lessen them: when they started I would tap my tongue rhythmically against the back of my teeth in a clockwise pattern. This satisfied the compulsion to perform the other tics, at least somewhat. Enough to stop me getting knocked down by other kids. What I did not ever do, at any point, was use this as an excuse for any failure of any kind. It was my problem and I dealt with it and I moved on to the next 10,000 problems. I figured out how to get on with my life. Sounds like what you have done is medicalized your problem and used it as an excuse for your failures. I could not care less whether you love or hate me and I will forget this conversation even happened in a day or two. But I will tell you now as a statement of fact that your life will be better if you solve your problems instead of finding excuses for living with them. Weakness is detestable and it brings with it only misery.
  - astine 2y ago
    This is probably one of the most dickish comments I've read in a while. I have tourettes too. I would never use it as a weapon to diminish other people's difficulties. Just because my problems are manageable doesn't mean other people's are.
deleted 2y ago
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jjxw 2y ago

I think it's great that you had the conviction and risk taking appetite to find success and in retrospect be able to say it was the "right" choice for you. I also think there's some great advice in there about benchmarking the road that you're headed down and asking yourself if it is the right road for you. However, I think this comment veers off into a tone that, for me, is a bit judgmental and prescriptive. Even out of the group of people who are single and childless people have different life situations, people have different risk tolerances, and there's not a one size fit all solution to quitting your job and chasing your passion for everyone. Not to mention unfortunately some people sacrifice a lot in pursuit of what they want and end up with nothing or very little to show for it in the end. Again I think your comment comes from a good place and there's some useful advice here, but the unnecessary name calling is a bit of a turn off at least for me and overall reduces the effectiveness of communicating your advice.

safety1st 2y ago
That's a very patient and balanced response, which I appreciate! I think that in the last few years Hacker News and Reddit have made me super jaded and that's why I communicated like this - I responded to a comment that was brief and amounted to a rich guy bitching that he can't afford a house. It feels like these forums are filled with an endless stream of people who either don't work that hard or don't know how to manage their money, complaining about how the system is rigged against them. That complaint is fucking dumb. I'm sorry, but "I'm rich but I can't afford to buy a house or take a risk pursuing my passion," is just a dumb take and not a real problem. For those of us who started out life on food stamps, and yet did also grow up in a house, it's kind of an offensive take, in fact. I can't imagine a worse possible excuse for not taking some risks in life -- like this is not someone who has a fire under their ass because they've realized they need to get out of the ghetto, that's for sure. Their problems don't sound serious yet here they are bitching. Are you really sure the soft and considerate communication style is what people like this need? Maybe there are some out there who are a little too comfortable and just need to get whacked on the head.
- 01HNNWZ0MV43FF 2y ago
  While I'm at it, if I could use my free will to be less of a "pussy" why do you use yours to continue being a huge dick?
- jjxw 2y ago
  I think it depends on the audience. I have some closer friends that I would be comfortable taking a more aggressive communication style because they know my intent is to help them and sometimes people do need someone to shock them into making a change. For internet strangers, at least in my experience, I think putting people on defensive footing through more aggressive language makes it more difficult to get your point across to most folks. Your goal, however, might be to talk to a group out there that does respond to a more "tough love" angle. I do find it can make productive discussion with those who are going to perceive the language as insulting more difficult if not impossible. Just something to keep in mind depending on your communication goals.

01HNNWZ0MV43FF 2y ago

In my case it's not balls, it's probably autism. I hate traveling because I'm very picky about food > frankly I think you're just a pussy Go to hell and ask yourself how free will exists if someone freely chooses to not exercise their free will. something is inconsistent in your thinking

safety1st 2y ago
I had Tourette's symptoms as a kid - motor and vocal tics. They were relatively mild, but serious enough that I had the shit kicked out of me on more than one occasion because I was that weird little kid who kept on twitching and grunting. They got better as I aged but to this day if I'm under stress or sleep deprived they start to creep back in. Sometimes, people still notice. After being beaten up multiple times I devised a way to lessen them: when they started I would tap my tongue rhythmically against the back of my teeth in a clockwise pattern. This satisfied the compulsion to perform the other tics, at least somewhat. Enough to stop me getting knocked down by other kids. What I did not ever do, at any point, was use this as an excuse for any failure of any kind. It was my problem and I dealt with it and I moved on to the next 10,000 problems. I figured out how to get on with my life. Sounds like what you have done is medicalized your problem and used it as an excuse for your failures. I could not care less whether you love or hate me and I will forget this conversation even happened in a day or two. But I will tell you now as a statement of fact that your life will be better if you solve your problems instead of finding excuses for living with them. Weakness is detestable and it brings with it only misery.
- astine 2y ago
  This is probably one of the most dickish comments I've read in a while. I have tourettes too. I would never use it as a weapon to diminish other people's difficulties. Just because my problems are manageable doesn't mean other people's are.

deleted 2y ago

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