4 ms·

Mothers who regret having kids: 'I wished I were holding a cat and not a baby'

8 points by howard941 2y ago

deleted 2y ago
[deleted]
coding123 2y ago
[flagged]
MisterDizzy 2y ago
[flagged]
elmerfud 2y ago
This article focuses solely on a mother's in total isolation. It makes total sense to me that a single mother would rather be holding a cat and not a baby in most circumstances. Because maybe these aren't single mothers or maybe they are I don't know the article is not clear. What is known from copious amounts of research is that single motherhood despite all of the social programs designed to help it it's not a desirable situation to be in. So it becomes obvious people are opting out of having kids because they're also opting out of long-term relationships as well. You will see a decline in both of those. If society promotes families and long-term relationships you will see an increased desire to have children together.
- hello_computer 2y ago
  The first example, “Tanya”, has a husband. I think these are women who just don’t like children.
- MisterDizzy 2y ago
  [flagged]
- toomuchtodo 2y ago
  Lots of evidence people just don't want kids, of both genders. Educated, empowered women have less kids, or no kids, and delay having kids when they do have them. Contraception availability is robust, teen pregnancies are down, the population boom was an anomaly. Fertility rates are declining because unintended (~40% annually per the Guttmacher Institute and the UN) and unwanted children rates are falling off a cliff. Maternal instinct in humans is a myth. More support for parents does not appear to increase fertility rates. Citations below. https://ourworldindata.org/fertility-rate#what-explains-the-declining-fertility-rate https://ourworldindata.org/fertility-rate#what-explains-the-... ("Our World In Data: What Explains the Declining Fertility Rate?") https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20230208-the-adults-celebrating-child-free-lives https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20230208-the-adults-cel... ("BBC: The adults celebrating child-free lives") https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202102/why-so-many-single-women-without-children-are-happy https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/2... ("The Guardian: Why So Many Single Women Without Children Are Happy") https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-h... ("Women are happier without children or a spouse, says happiness expert") https://www.axios.com/2024/07/25/adults-no-children-why-pew-data https://www.axios.com/2024/07/25/adults-no-children-why-pew-... ("Axios: Why more U.S. adults are choosing not to have kids") https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-experiences-of-u-s-adults-who-dont-have-children/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-exp... ("Pew Research: 57% of adults under 50 who say they’re unlikely to ever have kids say a major reason is they just don’t want to; 31% of those ages 50 and older without kids cite this as a reason they never had them; 64% of young women say they just don't want children, compared to 50% of men.") https://www.ft.com/content/838eeb4e-3bff-4693-990f-ff3446cac9b2 https://www.ft.com/content/838eeb4e-3bff-4693-990f-ff3446cac... | https://archive.today/s6zUk https://archive.today/s6zUk ("Financial Times: Why family-friendly policies don’t boost birth rates")
brodouevencode 2y ago
How much does the increase in casual sexual encounters have to do with this?
- slwvx 2y ago
  Are you sure that there is not a decrease in casual sexual encounters? My impression is that young people are having much less sex these days.
ChumpGPT 2y ago
Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, but it is also one of the most rewarding. Some folks are simply not cut out for it. A helpful question to ask oneself before starting a family is: Are you able to love your child more than yourself? If the answer is yes, there is a good chance you will enjoy parenting. If the answer is no, then perhaps you should refrain from having a family and consider getting a pet instead.
like_any_other 2y ago
These articles always remind me of that article on egg freezing https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/national/wp/2018/01/27/feature/she-championed-the-idea-that-freezing-your-eggs-would-free-your-career-but-things-didnt-quite-work-out/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/national/wp/2018/01/27/f... In early 2017, with her 45th birthday looming and no sign of Mr. Right, she decided to start a family on her own. She excitedly unfroze the 11 eggs she had stored and selected a sperm donor. Two eggs failed to survive the thawing process. Three more failed to fertilize. That left six embryos, of which five appeared to be abnormal. The last one was implanted in her uterus. On the morning of March 7, she got the devastating news that it, too, had failed. Adams was not pregnant, and her chances of carrying her genetic child had just dropped to near zero. She remembers screaming like “a wild animal,” throwing books, papers, her laptop — and collapsing to the ground.

8 points by howard941 2y ago

deleted 2y ago

[deleted]

coding123 2y ago

[flagged]

MisterDizzy 2y ago

[flagged]

elmerfud 2y ago

This article focuses solely on a mother's in total isolation. It makes total sense to me that a single mother would rather be holding a cat and not a baby in most circumstances. Because maybe these aren't single mothers or maybe they are I don't know the article is not clear. What is known from copious amounts of research is that single motherhood despite all of the social programs designed to help it it's not a desirable situation to be in. So it becomes obvious people are opting out of having kids because they're also opting out of long-term relationships as well. You will see a decline in both of those. If society promotes families and long-term relationships you will see an increased desire to have children together.

hello_computer 2y ago
The first example, “Tanya”, has a husband. I think these are women who just don’t like children.
MisterDizzy 2y ago
[flagged]
toomuchtodo 2y ago
Lots of evidence people just don't want kids, of both genders. Educated, empowered women have less kids, or no kids, and delay having kids when they do have them. Contraception availability is robust, teen pregnancies are down, the population boom was an anomaly. Fertility rates are declining because unintended (~40% annually per the Guttmacher Institute and the UN) and unwanted children rates are falling off a cliff. Maternal instinct in humans is a myth. More support for parents does not appear to increase fertility rates. Citations below. https://ourworldindata.org/fertility-rate#what-explains-the-declining-fertility-rate https://ourworldindata.org/fertility-rate#what-explains-the-... ("Our World In Data: What Explains the Declining Fertility Rate?") https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20230208-the-adults-celebrating-child-free-lives https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20230208-the-adults-cel... ("BBC: The adults celebrating child-free lives") https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202102/why-so-many-single-women-without-children-are-happy https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/2... ("The Guardian: Why So Many Single Women Without Children Are Happy") https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-h... ("Women are happier without children or a spouse, says happiness expert") https://www.axios.com/2024/07/25/adults-no-children-why-pew-data https://www.axios.com/2024/07/25/adults-no-children-why-pew-... ("Axios: Why more U.S. adults are choosing not to have kids") https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-experiences-of-u-s-adults-who-dont-have-children/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-exp... ("Pew Research: 57% of adults under 50 who say they’re unlikely to ever have kids say a major reason is they just don’t want to; 31% of those ages 50 and older without kids cite this as a reason they never had them; 64% of young women say they just don't want children, compared to 50% of men.") https://www.ft.com/content/838eeb4e-3bff-4693-990f-ff3446cac9b2 https://www.ft.com/content/838eeb4e-3bff-4693-990f-ff3446cac... | https://archive.today/s6zUk https://archive.today/s6zUk ("Financial Times: Why family-friendly policies don’t boost birth rates")

brodouevencode 2y ago

How much does the increase in casual sexual encounters have to do with this?

slwvx 2y ago
Are you sure that there is not a decrease in casual sexual encounters? My impression is that young people are having much less sex these days.

ChumpGPT 2y ago

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, but it is also one of the most rewarding. Some folks are simply not cut out for it. A helpful question to ask oneself before starting a family is: Are you able to love your child more than yourself? If the answer is yes, there is a good chance you will enjoy parenting. If the answer is no, then perhaps you should refrain from having a family and consider getting a pet instead.

like_any_other 2y ago

These articles always remind me of that article on egg freezing https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/national/wp/2018/01/27/feature/she-championed-the-idea-that-freezing-your-eggs-would-free-your-career-but-things-didnt-quite-work-out/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/national/wp/2018/01/27/f... In early 2017, with her 45th birthday looming and no sign of Mr. Right, she decided to start a family on her own. She excitedly unfroze the 11 eggs she had stored and selected a sperm donor. Two eggs failed to survive the thawing process. Three more failed to fertilize. That left six embryos, of which five appeared to be abnormal. The last one was implanted in her uterus. On the morning of March 7, she got the devastating news that it, too, had failed. Adams was not pregnant, and her chances of carrying her genetic child had just dropped to near zero. She remembers screaming like “a wild animal,” throwing books, papers, her laptop — and collapsing to the ground.