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Fuck “just”. When someone says “just”, all I hear is “I have no fucking clue”. Just is a bitch mother that seeks to handwave away any potential problems. If i

by bena 2y ago

Fuck “just”. When someone says “just”, all I hear is “I have no fucking clue”. Just is a bitch mother that seeks to handwave away any potential problems. If it’s just that, I’ll gladly step aside and let you do it. But if you then tell me you can’t do it, then you better sit down, shut the fuck up, and listen when I tell you something is more complicated than you think.

jonhohle 2y ago
Agree. I’ve tried to remove it from any suggestion I give. I’ll use it when referring to what I plan to do, but never “can’t you just”.
- bena 2y ago
  That's like the only way it should be used. You know your situation and problems. You know when "just" is just.
dockd 2y ago
When my daughter was working in her university's dining hall, the most demanding orders always began with "just". Can I just have a non-fat sugar-free vanilla latte with two pumps that isn't too hot?
bityard 2y ago
Adam Savage has a most excellent rant about the outrageous arrogance of the phrase, "Why don't you just..." I highly recommend it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP4CKn86qGY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP4CKn86qGY My best example of this is my father-in-law. He's an absolutely wonderful man, generous to a fault and all of that. Fancies himself a handyman. But I had to stop asking for his help with around-the-house projects out of sheer anger and frustration because every SINGLE time I made a decision about how to proceed with the job or pick which tool to use to cut something, he would stop and and ask, "Well, why don't you just do X instead?" It didn't seem to matter if I explained my reasoning, or if doing X meant redoing a hour of work just to get back to where we currently were. I even attempted to humor him by trying things his way whether or not they were going to work out. (They often didn't). Eventually it ended in me saying "no" way more often than "yes" and he would infer that I was refusing his help and he'd throw his hands up and walk away.
- bena 2y ago
  That feels a lot like where I've come to as well. I think it's not an uncommon opinion. And of course, Adam Savage is always great.
- reaperducer 2y ago
  every SINGLE time I made a decision about how to proceed with the job or pick which tool to use to cut something, he would stop and and ask, "Well, why don't you just do X instead?" Sounds like he spends a lot of time on StackOverflow.
- PTOB 2y ago
  This is why I come to HN, for nuggets like this. This is improving my life as I listen. Thanks for sharing!
clbrmbr 2y ago
I see “just” as an invitation to win the argument by agreeing with the person. “Ooo yeah good idea, I think we could. Can you help me think through this?” — And then they ideally proceed to come around to essentially what you wanted to do anyways.
shagie 2y ago
"Just" is a word I've been trying to avoid using. In some cases, it's diminishing or trivializing the work. "I just need to do X" trivializes the amount of work that X takes and in some cases implies that the person I am talking to is not competent / capable of doing it themselves (often implying that they should be). Likewise, "they just did X" trivializes the work that the other person does. Its a word I ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ don't believe adds value to a sentence.
professoretc 2y ago
My wife and I agreed to expunge "just" from our vocabulary, at least with regards to asking to do this. It's almost always kind of belittling, implying that the thing you're asking for is easy and obvious, and you're an idiot/lazy for either not doing it already or trying to explain why its more difficult that it looks.

by bena 2y ago

jonhohle 2y ago

Agree. I’ve tried to remove it from any suggestion I give. I’ll use it when referring to what I plan to do, but never “can’t you just”.

bena 2y ago
That's like the only way it should be used. You know your situation and problems. You know when "just" is just.

dockd 2y ago

When my daughter was working in her university's dining hall, the most demanding orders always began with "just". Can I just have a non-fat sugar-free vanilla latte with two pumps that isn't too hot?

bityard 2y ago

Adam Savage has a most excellent rant about the outrageous arrogance of the phrase, "Why don't you just..." I highly recommend it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP4CKn86qGY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OP4CKn86qGY My best example of this is my father-in-law. He's an absolutely wonderful man, generous to a fault and all of that. Fancies himself a handyman. But I had to stop asking for his help with around-the-house projects out of sheer anger and frustration because every SINGLE time I made a decision about how to proceed with the job or pick which tool to use to cut something, he would stop and and ask, "Well, why don't you just do X instead?" It didn't seem to matter if I explained my reasoning, or if doing X meant redoing a hour of work just to get back to where we currently were. I even attempted to humor him by trying things his way whether or not they were going to work out. (They often didn't). Eventually it ended in me saying "no" way more often than "yes" and he would infer that I was refusing his help and he'd throw his hands up and walk away.

bena 2y ago
That feels a lot like where I've come to as well. I think it's not an uncommon opinion. And of course, Adam Savage is always great.
reaperducer 2y ago
every SINGLE time I made a decision about how to proceed with the job or pick which tool to use to cut something, he would stop and and ask, "Well, why don't you just do X instead?" Sounds like he spends a lot of time on StackOverflow.
PTOB 2y ago
This is why I come to HN, for nuggets like this. This is improving my life as I listen. Thanks for sharing!

clbrmbr 2y ago

I see “just” as an invitation to win the argument by agreeing with the person. “Ooo yeah good idea, I think we could. Can you help me think through this?” — And then they ideally proceed to come around to essentially what you wanted to do anyways.

shagie 2y ago

"Just" is a word I've been trying to avoid using. In some cases, it's diminishing or trivializing the work. "I just need to do X" trivializes the amount of work that X takes and in some cases implies that the person I am talking to is not competent / capable of doing it themselves (often implying that they should be). Likewise, "they just did X" trivializes the work that the other person does. Its a word I ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ don't believe adds value to a sentence.

professoretc 2y ago

My wife and I agreed to expunge "just" from our vocabulary, at least with regards to asking to do this. It's almost always kind of belittling, implying that the thing you're asking for is easy and obvious, and you're an idiot/lazy for either not doing it already or trying to explain why its more difficult that it looks.