The other glaring problem being that you'd have to entrust this shady company with keys to your digital kingdom so that they could perform actions on your behal

The other glaring problem being that you'd have to entrust this shady company with keys to your digital kingdom so that they could perform actions on your behalf from their cloud. When they inevitably get hacked and your money gets stolen, you won't have any recourse because you authorized them to act on your behalf. Of course this could be solved if their models ran locally on your phone and interacted with target apps through accessibility APIs, but then they're just another app. Every part of their business is either not practical or downright insane if you think about it for more than a minute.