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When I was under 12 I was completely unprepared and incapable to handling this kind of information. My concerns were playing videogames, watching cartoons, and

When I was under 12 I was completely unprepared and incapable to handling this kind of information. My concerns were playing videogames, watching cartoons, and playing soccer. I didn't think at all about sexuality, much less gender anything. I have no idea what kind of damage to my idea of self this kind of information being pushed onto me would have caused, especially when at that time I was the bullied kid for being short and nerdy, girls especially would always mock me for that reason. Maybe it would have caused none. I always saw school as lame, I did the bare minimum and always had good grades. Maybe it would have been a class that I just didn't pay any attention to. It was a different time back then though. The Internet only became a thing when I was already 13, and at that point things had changed quite a bit for me. Kids these days seem to be exposed to some... er... "objectionable" material a lot earlier. Now that I am a father, I do worry about what kind of information my daughter will receive once she grows up and goes to school. Not sure how people deal with this sort of stuff nowadays.

spaceribs 2y ago
We all have our own individual experience when we pass into adulthood, but keep in mind there was a time that being a "nerd" was far less socially acceptable to your parents growing up than when you were growing up. When I was a kid, a parent on the radio said this about gay marriage: "I am the gatekeeper for what is socially acceptable for my child." I asked my Dad about that statement, and he said pretty clearly "That's an unrealistic expectation of what parenthood is. You're more of a bodyguard or secret service. You can listen and provide context, do your best to stop your child from being put into danger, but you cannot stop, control or manage a child's, much less a teenagers, world experience."
- surgical_fire 2y ago
  I grew up in the 80s and 90s for that matter. Being a nerd was being an outcast. Not socially acceptable at all. I find it ironic (and in many ways disgraceful) that being a nerd became sort of mainstream. Back in the day a parent was absolutely the gatekeeper of what was socially acceptable to a child. Nowadays, probably less so. Teenagers were always uncontrollable. Try to control them and they will defy you. I know I did, and essentially every other teenager I came in contact with.
  - spaceribs 2y ago
    I think you're viewing your parents experience of gatekeeper through their own perceptions and biases. You're an atheist, and I assume a first generation atheist, what was your path towards that belief if they really had that level of control over your lived experience, worldview, and knowledge?
    - surgical_fire 2y ago
      > You're an atheist, and I assume a first generation atheist, what was your path towards that belief if they really had that level of control over your lived experience, worldview, and knowledge? I became an atheist when I was a teenager. Before that the idea of religion was just something taught to me by my parents. I was taught to pray and that there was a God above, and all that. (It was actually a bit more complicated than that, as my parents had different religions each). I was, however, given the freedom to explore my own ideas about religion and to develop my own views about the world once I was a little older. Honestly, I think they handled it all quite well. For that matter, if my daughter decides to be religious once she grows up a little, she will also have my support. My way to view this is that while she is a baby and later a small girl I am fully responsible for her. As she grows up, the more I will be on the background, and her own ideas will take the center stage instead. As I usually say "I'll teach her everything I can, she will learn everything she wants".

spaceribs 2y ago

We all have our own individual experience when we pass into adulthood, but keep in mind there was a time that being a "nerd" was far less socially acceptable to your parents growing up than when you were growing up. When I was a kid, a parent on the radio said this about gay marriage: "I am the gatekeeper for what is socially acceptable for my child." I asked my Dad about that statement, and he said pretty clearly "That's an unrealistic expectation of what parenthood is. You're more of a bodyguard or secret service. You can listen and provide context, do your best to stop your child from being put into danger, but you cannot stop, control or manage a child's, much less a teenagers, world experience."

surgical_fire 2y ago
I grew up in the 80s and 90s for that matter. Being a nerd was being an outcast. Not socially acceptable at all. I find it ironic (and in many ways disgraceful) that being a nerd became sort of mainstream. Back in the day a parent was absolutely the gatekeeper of what was socially acceptable to a child. Nowadays, probably less so. Teenagers were always uncontrollable. Try to control them and they will defy you. I know I did, and essentially every other teenager I came in contact with.
- spaceribs 2y ago
  I think you're viewing your parents experience of gatekeeper through their own perceptions and biases. You're an atheist, and I assume a first generation atheist, what was your path towards that belief if they really had that level of control over your lived experience, worldview, and knowledge?
  - surgical_fire 2y ago
    > You're an atheist, and I assume a first generation atheist, what was your path towards that belief if they really had that level of control over your lived experience, worldview, and knowledge? I became an atheist when I was a teenager. Before that the idea of religion was just something taught to me by my parents. I was taught to pray and that there was a God above, and all that. (It was actually a bit more complicated than that, as my parents had different religions each). I was, however, given the freedom to explore my own ideas about religion and to develop my own views about the world once I was a little older. Honestly, I think they handled it all quite well. For that matter, if my daughter decides to be religious once she grows up a little, she will also have my support. My way to view this is that while she is a baby and later a small girl I am fully responsible for her. As she grows up, the more I will be on the background, and her own ideas will take the center stage instead. As I usually say "I'll teach her everything I can, she will learn everything she wants".