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I find difficulty putting much stock into it. Perhaps my answer is why: no, I don't have a 'best friend' at work. I do maintain connections with useful speciali

I find difficulty putting much stock into it. Perhaps my answer is why: no, I don't have a 'best friend' at work. I do maintain connections with useful specialists, though. I'll go to bat for my team/trust they'll do the same, but I avoid friendships at work for the same [personal] reasons one may avoid working with family. I have a lot of acquaintances. None of them know what really makes me work, so I don't consider them friends. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't like what's behind the masks... Now, in terms of effectiveness, it's a wash in my opinion. Distance has value, I can be the bad guy and not worry about it too much. I miss out on a lot but that's fine, I've seen a lot too. If nothing else I want to offer this distinction: friends and friendly

harryquach 2y ago
This is exaggerated with remote work. I will always be friendly and kind but these people do not actually know me. Like you said, if they did they may not like what they find out. I am personally more effective remote but obviously that is dependent on the individual. I think its absolutely possible to be effective without having "friends" at work. An interesting observation I have had. Younger coworkers and those without kids tend to want friends at work rather than just showing up and doing work.
- bravetraveler 2y ago
  > An interesting observation I have had. Younger coworkers and those without kids tend to want friends at work rather than just showing up and doing work. +1 interesting, I've noticed the same while beating the odds so far. The most immediate reason that comes to mind is mentorship. Newer to the work and generally less going on at home. Upsides all around. Learning, networking, and so on. Also probably not that jaded or swayed yet, if we're honest. A lot of gumption left. I know I could single-handedly build and manage a cloud; I've done it. I can't get other people to do it. Tempered expectations find us all. I've always been pretty anti-social when it comes to work. School and home life knocked joy for [most] people out of me. A whole lot of anxiety and habits that make me good at work... and less good at people. It makes sense in the average case: receiving directions is a lot easier than giving/answering for them The only regret I really have is leaving my hometown to work here in the city, to eventually go remote... while still in the city. Now, not old or really that young, I work so much I don't want to go back home. The infinite growth machine demands fodder, however, so I'll probably end up meeting/making more people here instead after great effort.

harryquach 2y ago

This is exaggerated with remote work. I will always be friendly and kind but these people do not actually know me. Like you said, if they did they may not like what they find out. I am personally more effective remote but obviously that is dependent on the individual. I think its absolutely possible to be effective without having "friends" at work. An interesting observation I have had. Younger coworkers and those without kids tend to want friends at work rather than just showing up and doing work.

bravetraveler 2y ago
> An interesting observation I have had. Younger coworkers and those without kids tend to want friends at work rather than just showing up and doing work. +1 interesting, I've noticed the same while beating the odds so far. The most immediate reason that comes to mind is mentorship. Newer to the work and generally less going on at home. Upsides all around. Learning, networking, and so on. Also probably not that jaded or swayed yet, if we're honest. A lot of gumption left. I know I could single-handedly build and manage a cloud; I've done it. I can't get other people to do it. Tempered expectations find us all. I've always been pretty anti-social when it comes to work. School and home life knocked joy for [most] people out of me. A whole lot of anxiety and habits that make me good at work... and less good at people. It makes sense in the average case: receiving directions is a lot easier than giving/answering for them The only regret I really have is leaving my hometown to work here in the city, to eventually go remote... while still in the city. Now, not old or really that young, I work so much I don't want to go back home. The infinite growth machine demands fodder, however, so I'll probably end up meeting/making more people here instead after great effort.