7 ms·

"Sure! I'll call you next week!" -- never to be heard from again. Everyone seems very unhappy there socially.

by lostemptations5 2y ago

cdaringe 2y ago
Subjective, likely false. No sources listed.
- paul_n 2y ago
  I live there, that comment made me laugh because there’s definitely some amount of truth in it. I’ve always described west coast Canada as surface nice, but harder to make friends, while Ontario is surface closed off, but a lot easier to make new friends.
- ikmckenz 2y ago
  The Wikipedia page for the “Seattle freeze” phenomenon mentions it applying to Vancouver[1], also Vancouver has long been known as “No Fun City” because of laws and cultural norms against partying[2]. 1 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seattle_Freeze https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seattle_Freeze 2 https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/No_Fun_City https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/No_Fun_City
  - ghostpepper 2y ago
    I'm not sure of the root causes but British Columbia does seem to have particularly antiquated liquor laws, even compared to the rest of Canada.
  - cdaringe 2y ago
    Y’all aren’t tapped into BC MTB culture. Vibes are thru the roof! Source: me, now :) Just as subjective as the OP, XD
cjbgkagh 2y ago
That’s normal nice in the Pacific Northwest. Possibly due to the Scandinavian heritage. Another explanation I heard is that people used to be more open there before the many waves of post 90s immigration. Once people there have established their friend groups they’re not looking to add any more to the group as they worry too many new friends will diminish their own place in their friend group.
- pfannkuchen 2y ago
  Scandinavia is similarly dark and gloomy in the winter, I think? Does the darkness cause this effect in people? Is the darkness a filter for people who are like that already?
  - cjbgkagh 2y ago
    I do wonder, could be that for much of human history if you ever saw a foreigner one of you was about to die. PNG blood feuds being a modern example. Perhaps societies with a strong centralized state would evolve a culture open to integrating foreigners. I also wonder how much of modern multiculturalism has its roots in colonial empires. AFAIK many of the Scandinavians that came to the US were escaping the really bad ethnic / religious stratification and famines.
  - deleted 2y ago
    [deleted]
- deanCommie 2y ago
  > Once people there have established their friend groups they’re not looking to add any more to the group as they worry too many new friends will diminish their own place in their friend group. That's such a cynical interpretation of a totally reasonable problem of social dynamics. A friendship of 2 has different dynamics than 3 than 4, etc. And all of them are different depending on the composition of intraverts/extraverts. FWIW, the extravert friend groups I know are highly inclusive and are always eager to add new members. For obvious reasons. And the opposite for introverts who are much more careful and cautious (I am one) because they know how fragile good vibes can be and how new strangers are exhausting and can affect them. IMO, the Pacific Northwest attracts introverts because the main activities are fairly individualistic (hiking, skiing) and the social aspects happen before/after which you can easily skip. Not so in something like NYC where everything is orientated around other people. Then extraverts move to the PNW for the hot tech job markets (Seattle/Vancouver) and are annoyed that everyone is so "cold".
  - cjbgkagh 2y ago
shermantanktop 2y ago
Aka “Seattle Nice.” People move to a place, are eager to get connected, but the people there are already connected…except for all the other lonely newbies. It’s a boom-town phenomenon, I think. And if you are a long-time resident, it’s a little rich having large numbers of people come clog up your town while doing clueless newbie things and then gripe about how they don’t feel welcome.
- lostemptations5 2y ago
  Though in other cities you can make friends much more easily, especially on the East Coast...
  - charles_f 2y ago
    Because immigration is not as strong.
    - charles_f 2y ago
      (note, sounds racist, but not what I meant. What I meant is that when there's a lot of people coming, it's mechanically harder for people to enter pre-existing social groups, thus the impression that people are not welcoming)
- pfannkuchen 2y ago
  Newbies who just moved in are much more likely to leave as well. Why invest the time?
  - cjbgkagh 2y ago
    For newbies often it's their first time as an expat or immigrant but for the natives usually they've been through these waves of immigrants multiple times already.
- karaterobot 2y ago
  I've lived in Seattle for 25 years, have been hearing about "Seattle Nice" and "The Seattle Freeze" that whole time. By which they mean that people are friendly and polite on a surface level, but cold and distant when you try to get closer. I think it's a myth, or at any rate I have never experienced it as a trend (individuals, sure). People here are as nice as anywhere else I've been. I think maybe it's confirmation bias: people hear about it, then see it everywhere, like stereotypes about rude New Yorkers, or snooty Parisians. It would be strange if whole a region, with such a huge population of transplants, all shared the same personality. They don't make you sign a contract to be rude when you move here!
nativeit 2y ago
I get this all the time in North Carolina. Maybe it’s just a symptom of the times? Most everyone I know under the age of 40-45 would rather commit hari kari than place a short, friendly phone call.
- nativeit 2y ago
  Also, hear me out, maybe it’s us?

"Sure! I'll call you next week!" -- never to be heard from again. Everyone seems very unhappy there socially.

cdaringe 2y ago

Subjective, likely false. No sources listed.

paul_n 2y ago
I live there, that comment made me laugh because there’s definitely some amount of truth in it. I’ve always described west coast Canada as surface nice, but harder to make friends, while Ontario is surface closed off, but a lot easier to make new friends.
ikmckenz 2y ago
The Wikipedia page for the “Seattle freeze” phenomenon mentions it applying to Vancouver[1], also Vancouver has long been known as “No Fun City” because of laws and cultural norms against partying[2]. 1 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seattle_Freeze https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seattle_Freeze 2 https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/No_Fun_City https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/No_Fun_City
- ghostpepper 2y ago
  I'm not sure of the root causes but British Columbia does seem to have particularly antiquated liquor laws, even compared to the rest of Canada.
- cdaringe 2y ago
  Y’all aren’t tapped into BC MTB culture. Vibes are thru the roof! Source: me, now :) Just as subjective as the OP, XD

cjbgkagh 2y ago

That’s normal nice in the Pacific Northwest. Possibly due to the Scandinavian heritage. Another explanation I heard is that people used to be more open there before the many waves of post 90s immigration. Once people there have established their friend groups they’re not looking to add any more to the group as they worry too many new friends will diminish their own place in their friend group.

pfannkuchen 2y ago
Scandinavia is similarly dark and gloomy in the winter, I think? Does the darkness cause this effect in people? Is the darkness a filter for people who are like that already?
- cjbgkagh 2y ago
  I do wonder, could be that for much of human history if you ever saw a foreigner one of you was about to die. PNG blood feuds being a modern example. Perhaps societies with a strong centralized state would evolve a culture open to integrating foreigners. I also wonder how much of modern multiculturalism has its roots in colonial empires. AFAIK many of the Scandinavians that came to the US were escaping the really bad ethnic / religious stratification and famines.
- deleted 2y ago
  [deleted]
deanCommie 2y ago
> Once people there have established their friend groups they’re not looking to add any more to the group as they worry too many new friends will diminish their own place in their friend group. That's such a cynical interpretation of a totally reasonable problem of social dynamics. A friendship of 2 has different dynamics than 3 than 4, etc. And all of them are different depending on the composition of intraverts/extraverts. FWIW, the extravert friend groups I know are highly inclusive and are always eager to add new members. For obvious reasons. And the opposite for introverts who are much more careful and cautious (I am one) because they know how fragile good vibes can be and how new strangers are exhausting and can affect them. IMO, the Pacific Northwest attracts introverts because the main activities are fairly individualistic (hiking, skiing) and the social aspects happen before/after which you can easily skip. Not so in something like NYC where everything is orientated around other people. Then extraverts move to the PNW for the hot tech job markets (Seattle/Vancouver) and are annoyed that everyone is so "cold".
- cjbgkagh 2y ago

shermantanktop 2y ago

Aka “Seattle Nice.” People move to a place, are eager to get connected, but the people there are already connected…except for all the other lonely newbies. It’s a boom-town phenomenon, I think. And if you are a long-time resident, it’s a little rich having large numbers of people come clog up your town while doing clueless newbie things and then gripe about how they don’t feel welcome.

lostemptations5 2y ago
Though in other cities you can make friends much more easily, especially on the East Coast...
- charles_f 2y ago
  Because immigration is not as strong.
  - charles_f 2y ago
    (note, sounds racist, but not what I meant. What I meant is that when there's a lot of people coming, it's mechanically harder for people to enter pre-existing social groups, thus the impression that people are not welcoming)
pfannkuchen 2y ago
Newbies who just moved in are much more likely to leave as well. Why invest the time?
- cjbgkagh 2y ago
  For newbies often it's their first time as an expat or immigrant but for the natives usually they've been through these waves of immigrants multiple times already.
karaterobot 2y ago
I've lived in Seattle for 25 years, have been hearing about "Seattle Nice" and "The Seattle Freeze" that whole time. By which they mean that people are friendly and polite on a surface level, but cold and distant when you try to get closer. I think it's a myth, or at any rate I have never experienced it as a trend (individuals, sure). People here are as nice as anywhere else I've been. I think maybe it's confirmation bias: people hear about it, then see it everywhere, like stereotypes about rude New Yorkers, or snooty Parisians. It would be strange if whole a region, with such a huge population of transplants, all shared the same personality. They don't make you sign a contract to be rude when you move here!

nativeit 2y ago

I get this all the time in North Carolina. Maybe it’s just a symptom of the times? Most everyone I know under the age of 40-45 would rather commit hari kari than place a short, friendly phone call.

nativeit 2y ago
Also, hear me out, maybe it’s us?