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please understand you are not representative everyone. Most of my friends are coworkers from various points in my career. I also don't care for screen relations

please understand you are not representative everyone. Most of my friends are coworkers from various points in my career. I also don't care for screen relationships either.

the_gorilla 2y ago
Who else am I representing? Of course I'm representing myself, these are opinions and I'm saying them, which makes them my opinions. The difference is whether you get to force people to go into the office because that's how you make friends.
- s1artibartfast 2y ago
  For some reason I read your post as a negation or dismissive of the parent post. I dont think there will be a clear solution to the issue. I think companies will sort into those with in person cultures and remote cultures, but there will always be some dissatisfied minority in each one. The burden will then be on the employee. If you dont want to work in person, dont accept an offer with that in the job requirements. Inversely, if you want in person relations, dont join a remote company.
  - the_gorilla 2y ago
    That's fair. I was also trying not to be dismissive. It's just a fundamental difference in how we see work relationships.
    - s1artibartfast 2y ago
      That part was kind of interesting to me. I have both "real relationships", and "work relationships", but they are not at all mutually exclusive categories. For me, the more the two categories overlap, the happier I am. I like working with people who I deeply enjoy and trust. People I can laugh with and be honest with. Afterall, the reality of a 40 hour week is that I spend as much time with these people as my wife and family. Life is too short for me to spend 40 hours without real connection.
brailsafe 2y ago
> Most of my friends are coworkers from various points in my career That's fine, but contextually it would seem more important what you'd prefer to be the case, not what is the case. As in, would you prefer to have a greater portion of your social circle made up of friends outside the places you've worked, or are you happier having most of those come from work?
- s1artibartfast 2y ago
  I like it However, the way I view it, having fewer friends from work doesn't imply making more friends outside of work. I spend 40ish hours the the workplace either way. If I categorically avoid seeking or making friends there, that doesn't mean I'm spending more time looking elsewhere. It just means I'm spending 40hrs/week friendless.
  - ImPostingOnHN 2y ago
    > I spend 40ish hours the the workplace either way Lets call it 45 or 50 due to commuting. With that said, that seems to be begging the question. If you weren't spending all that time in the workplace or commuting (in other words, if you worked remote), you'd have more time and opportunity to make friends outside of work.
    - s1artibartfast 2y ago
      Still seems like a trade of 40 hrs for 10hrs, no? Of course, none of this stuff is binary time spent.
      - ImPostingOnHN 2y ago
        I'm sorry, I'm not quite following what you mean by "a trade of 40 hrs for 10hrs". Working remote, for example, you could hang out with friends or family or neighbors in the middle of the day for lunch, the commute savings time is just a bonus.
        2y ago

please understand you are not representative everyone. Most of my friends are coworkers from various points in my career. I also don't care for screen relationships either.

the_gorilla 2y ago

Who else am I representing? Of course I'm representing myself, these are opinions and I'm saying them, which makes them my opinions. The difference is whether you get to force people to go into the office because that's how you make friends.

s1artibartfast 2y ago
For some reason I read your post as a negation or dismissive of the parent post. I dont think there will be a clear solution to the issue. I think companies will sort into those with in person cultures and remote cultures, but there will always be some dissatisfied minority in each one. The burden will then be on the employee. If you dont want to work in person, dont accept an offer with that in the job requirements. Inversely, if you want in person relations, dont join a remote company.
- the_gorilla 2y ago
  That's fair. I was also trying not to be dismissive. It's just a fundamental difference in how we see work relationships.
  - s1artibartfast 2y ago
    That part was kind of interesting to me. I have both "real relationships", and "work relationships", but they are not at all mutually exclusive categories. For me, the more the two categories overlap, the happier I am. I like working with people who I deeply enjoy and trust. People I can laugh with and be honest with. Afterall, the reality of a 40 hour week is that I spend as much time with these people as my wife and family. Life is too short for me to spend 40 hours without real connection.

brailsafe 2y ago

> Most of my friends are coworkers from various points in my career That's fine, but contextually it would seem more important what you'd prefer to be the case, not what is the case. As in, would you prefer to have a greater portion of your social circle made up of friends outside the places you've worked, or are you happier having most of those come from work?

s1artibartfast 2y ago
I like it However, the way I view it, having fewer friends from work doesn't imply making more friends outside of work. I spend 40ish hours the the workplace either way. If I categorically avoid seeking or making friends there, that doesn't mean I'm spending more time looking elsewhere. It just means I'm spending 40hrs/week friendless.
- ImPostingOnHN 2y ago
  > I spend 40ish hours the the workplace either way Lets call it 45 or 50 due to commuting. With that said, that seems to be begging the question. If you weren't spending all that time in the workplace or commuting (in other words, if you worked remote), you'd have more time and opportunity to make friends outside of work.
  - s1artibartfast 2y ago
    Still seems like a trade of 40 hrs for 10hrs, no? Of course, none of this stuff is binary time spent.
    - ImPostingOnHN 2y ago
      I'm sorry, I'm not quite following what you mean by "a trade of 40 hrs for 10hrs". Working remote, for example, you could hang out with friends or family or neighbors in the middle of the day for lunch, the commute savings time is just a bonus.
      - 2y ago