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A related mental trick I use to move on from some mistake I'm stuck on is to think the following: In the future, I will make another mistake, and I will be reg
by dilap 2y ago
A related mental trick I use to move on from some mistake I'm stuck on is to think the following:
In the future, I will make another mistake, and I will be regretting that instead of this. So I should focus on the present and the future, and try to identify and avoid that mistake (pick a different future!), rather than obsessing over the past.
It's incredibly obvious, of course, but going through the exercise of thinking it out explicitly really helps.
- alexey-salmin 2y ago> In the future, I will make another mistake, and I will be regretting that instead of this. Why not regret all of them? I'm yet to see my capacity for regrets get saturated
- adammarples 2y agoOur brains are machines for trying to avoid future mistakes, and doubling down on focusing on them isn't ideal. It's good that at least you're not also tying them to the past, which is doomed, but that's not what the future has to be. It's better not to focus on fears and let the possibility of the future open up instead.
- anthonyrstevens 2y agoI think I could make a good argument that our brains are machines for repeating past mistakes. Interesting to think about the opposite sides of the argument.
- kevindamm 2y agoI've got a pretty solid case that it's both
- layer8 2y agoThe biological purpose of regretting past actions is to avoid them in the future, though.
- anthonyrstevens 2y agoAre we sure about that?
- layer8 2y agoDo you have an alternative explanation to offer?
- unshavedyak 2y agoMy issue is i regret rather non-issues. Which makes it difficult to avoid because A. they're often small, stupid things that are difficult to avoid imo. And B. i'm sure i'd just find something else. The small things are objectively not reasons to be obsessing and regretting.. yet i do. So i think it's a problem in my frame of mind, not the action in focus.
- rthnbgrredf 2y agoEven better is to just focus on the here and now. The past cannot be changed and the future is just a mental construct, both can cause anexity and endless thinking.