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Great if this happens, since it uncovers ongoing unhealthy relationship patterns, and makes them more visible. It does absolutely nothing to enable them. To la
by rendx 2y ago
Great if this happens, since it uncovers ongoing unhealthy relationship patterns, and makes them more visible. It does absolutely nothing to enable them.
To label it "abuse" immediately is modern, but not necessarily the most beneficial perspective if you want to grow with each other. You may also not always be in the position to choose who you interact with (e.g. relatives). Then you can still work on why (and how) you would care about _their_ problem, and not make it yours. Seems to be a confusion here about who has the "condition"/problem?
- varispeed 2y agoNow that's some gaslighting here. These products give false hope and are triggering for people susceptible for it which leads to abuse.
- rendx 2y agoCan you explain what do you mean by "gaslighting" in this context? We seem to have a different understanding of what that term means?
- varispeed 2y agoGaslighting is when someone manipulates you into questioning your own perception or reality. By dismissing the concern, minimising the abuse, and subtly shifting blame, you're continuing to do just that - making me question whether the emotional manipulation described is valid, which is exactly what gaslighting is.
- rendx 2y agoGaslighting is not simply someone sharing a different perspective than you. It requires an ongoing relationship with dependencies, and orchestration. By using the term for simple situations like this, you are minimizing what actual gaslighting entails, and how destructive it can be for someone's psyche. https://time.com/6262891/psychology-terms-misused-gaslighting-toxic-narcissist/ https://time.com/6262891/psychology-terms-misused-gaslightin... How are you reading my comment as something where I make you doubt your perception? Can we not simply disagree, and share our different perspectives? Can we not hold different opinions about things, even concurrently, in our minds? I can unfold, and explain my position more, if you're interested. This is a place of discussion, after all. How would you say should I describe my opinion so you don't receive it as gaslighting? I did not mean to imply that the emotional manipulation is not "valid". I was trying to say that it can be handled in a way where the person with the problem, which is the person consciously or unconsciously trying to employ manipulation (likely because they were raised like that) can be provided with an opportunity to learn and grow. We all were raised more or less in manipulative ways, so we all are carrying it inside. A relationship can be the place to heal it, if both partners want to do that. It's not the gadget that enables abuse. Abusers will find whatever "tools" and situations to do that. This was my point. A hammer is a hammer, and it's not the hammer's fault if someone uses it to smash in my head. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle