5 ms·

Just give it more human-like intelligence. Kid: "Daddy why can't I watch youtube?" Me: "Because I said so."

ninth_ant 2y ago
For what it's worth, I'd advise against doing that as a parent. Giving concrete reasons for decisions helps kids understand that the rules imposed are not arbitrary, and helps frame the parent-child relationship as less antagonistic. It also gives the child agency, giving them opportunity to find alternatives which fulfill the criteria behind the rule.
- snovv_crash 2y ago
  It's amazing how many engineering managers don't get this.
- dools 2y ago
  "Why" is the laziest question a child can ask. I don't answer the question anymore I just ignore it. If they actually think ahead and come up with a more interesting question I'm happy to answer that.
  - Der_Einzige 2y ago
    You sound like a lazy parent. Reap what you sow.
    - dools 2y ago
      It’s acceptable from toddlers but by the time kids a tweens/teens (maybe even a little earlier) they almost always know the answer and “why”is actually just a complaint. Why in general can also be an emotionally abusive complaint, for example saying “why did you do that” is often not a question about someone’s genuine reasons but a passive aggressive expression of dissatisfaction. EDIT: I think around the ages of 6-8 I would more often than not respond with “why do you think?” And later it became a game we would play on car rides where the kids are allowed to ask why until I either couldn’t come up with a reason or they repeated themselves. But reflexive “why” is bullshit.
      - balls187 2y ago
        "Well, tell me why you think that is?" Is a good way to respond to questions.
    - balls187 2y ago
      > You sound like a lazy parent. That comment was uncalled for. Kids do all kinds of annoying things, like ask the same question over and over again. It's how they learn.
- rootusrootus 2y ago
  That works during the easy years. Before long they start drawing comparisons between what they are allowed to do, or not, and what you yourself do. So then you are right back to "Because I said so." "Daddy why can't I watch youtube?" "Because it rots your brain." "But you watch youtube..." "Congratulations, now you understand that when you are an adult you will be responsible for the consequences and so you will be free to make the choice. But you are not an adult yet." aka "Because I said so."
  - ninth_ant 2y ago
    If YouTube actually rots your brain then it would be stupid to watch it yourself. So the kid would be making a solid point. However the actual issue for me is that YouTube tries to keep you endlessly captivated with content regardless of quality or value. So it can ends up being a time sink, which at the end you feel like nothing of value was consumed. So I tell my kids that, not that it rots their brain. And when there’s content we can both enjoy, we can watch it together. Or if they want to watch something specific on YouTube, they can watch that thing and then be done.
    - kortilla 2y ago
      >If YouTube actually rots your brain then it would be stupid to watch it yourself. So the kid would be making a solid point. Yet here in reality, people gamble, smoke, drink alcohol, smoke week, etc. There are many things adults do that are bad for them, but might either be fine in moderation or just be a willing choice the adult has made to take the risk. The problem with kids is that they cannot be left to choose to take that kind of long term risk because their brains aren’t developed enough to do so. It’s why they can’t consent to legal agreements, etc. So it ultimately comes down to a list of things that they can’t do because they have downsides they can’t consent to and you would be a bad parent for consenting on their behalf. A.k.a “because I said so”.
- balls187 2y ago
  Unsure if you are a parent, but as a parent myself, answering the same question with the same answer gets exhausting. That said, my understanding is the constant inane question isn't about getting an answer, it's about the child trying to connect with the parent.
- kortilla 2y ago
  “I think that’s a stupid rule and I don’t care about following it.”

For what it's worth, I'd advise against doing that as a parent. Giving concrete reasons for decisions helps kids understand that the rules imposed are not arbitrary, and helps frame the parent-child relationship as less antagonistic. It also gives the child agency, giving them opportunity to find alternatives which fulfill the criteria behind the rule.

snovv_crash 2y ago
It's amazing how many engineering managers don't get this.
dools 2y ago
"Why" is the laziest question a child can ask. I don't answer the question anymore I just ignore it. If they actually think ahead and come up with a more interesting question I'm happy to answer that.
- Der_Einzige 2y ago
  You sound like a lazy parent. Reap what you sow.
  - dools 2y ago
    It’s acceptable from toddlers but by the time kids a tweens/teens (maybe even a little earlier) they almost always know the answer and “why”is actually just a complaint. Why in general can also be an emotionally abusive complaint, for example saying “why did you do that” is often not a question about someone’s genuine reasons but a passive aggressive expression of dissatisfaction. EDIT: I think around the ages of 6-8 I would more often than not respond with “why do you think?” And later it became a game we would play on car rides where the kids are allowed to ask why until I either couldn’t come up with a reason or they repeated themselves. But reflexive “why” is bullshit.
    - balls187 2y ago
      "Well, tell me why you think that is?" Is a good way to respond to questions.
  - balls187 2y ago
    > You sound like a lazy parent. That comment was uncalled for. Kids do all kinds of annoying things, like ask the same question over and over again. It's how they learn.
rootusrootus 2y ago
That works during the easy years. Before long they start drawing comparisons between what they are allowed to do, or not, and what you yourself do. So then you are right back to "Because I said so." "Daddy why can't I watch youtube?" "Because it rots your brain." "But you watch youtube..." "Congratulations, now you understand that when you are an adult you will be responsible for the consequences and so you will be free to make the choice. But you are not an adult yet." aka "Because I said so."
- ninth_ant 2y ago
  If YouTube actually rots your brain then it would be stupid to watch it yourself. So the kid would be making a solid point. However the actual issue for me is that YouTube tries to keep you endlessly captivated with content regardless of quality or value. So it can ends up being a time sink, which at the end you feel like nothing of value was consumed. So I tell my kids that, not that it rots their brain. And when there’s content we can both enjoy, we can watch it together. Or if they want to watch something specific on YouTube, they can watch that thing and then be done.
  - kortilla 2y ago
    >If YouTube actually rots your brain then it would be stupid to watch it yourself. So the kid would be making a solid point. Yet here in reality, people gamble, smoke, drink alcohol, smoke week, etc. There are many things adults do that are bad for them, but might either be fine in moderation or just be a willing choice the adult has made to take the risk. The problem with kids is that they cannot be left to choose to take that kind of long term risk because their brains aren’t developed enough to do so. It’s why they can’t consent to legal agreements, etc. So it ultimately comes down to a list of things that they can’t do because they have downsides they can’t consent to and you would be a bad parent for consenting on their behalf. A.k.a “because I said so”.
balls187 2y ago
Unsure if you are a parent, but as a parent myself, answering the same question with the same answer gets exhausting. That said, my understanding is the constant inane question isn't about getting an answer, it's about the child trying to connect with the parent.
kortilla 2y ago
“I think that’s a stupid rule and I don’t care about following it.”