3 ms·

The Unfortunate Physics of Male Urination (2016)

15 points by rossant 2y ago

phs318u 2y ago
There is an additional variable here that can result in an unintended phenomenon I call “sprinkler dick”. Occasionally (often after sex but not exclusively), I will be standing to pee and - all other things being equal - my initial stream will surprisingly come out at an almost 45 degree angle (always to the left for me). At other times, this phenomenon will manifest as the initial stream coming out bifurcated, forming a V (and not as a result of any stuck pubes). I have no solid explanation for why this occurs, but it is very repeatable, to the point where I now automatically sit down to pee after sex, because I can’t be arsed mopping up the bathroom floor. I have no idea if this phenomenon is unique to my physiology or is something that other men experience.
- zafka 2y ago
  At least N=2.
- bell-cot 2y ago
  When not actively passing fluids, the male urethra is almost always collapsed. In that state, it is easy for "precious bodily fluids" - or just the normal moisture of its inner lining - to dry out at the external opening, sticking the urethra's walls together and producing such effects.
  - phs318u 2y ago
    Hmm. That makes sense. Ironic, given the number of times I get up to pee during the night (I'm old).
- Jarmsy 2y ago
  This phenomenon is common, and was referenced in the 2000 Jim Carey comedy "Me, Myself & Irene"
- wonder_er 2y ago
  Perhaps a little fluid that dries and pinches some skin in the end of the penis? When I experience this kind of thing (rarely, less than you) that's usually the vibe.
- PeterWhittaker 2y ago
  Personally, unaroused, single stream. Any level of arousal, two streams at ninety degrees to one another. Been that way for over 40 years. I can only figure that erectile tissue distorts the internal shape, especially at the “nozzle”. No other fluids involved.
ein0p 2y ago
Bidet, which they also mention, was a revelation to me. I first tried it in Turkey a few years back, and immediately upon return outfitted all of the toilets in my home with Japanese bidets. Toilet paper is used only to dry off (although the bidet also has air dry). Smearing shit around with toilet paper is a barbaric custom which really needs to go.
- lostmsu 2y ago
  Smearing shit with water isn't great either
  - ein0p 2y ago
    Smearing maybe, but washing it off with a pressurized stream of water is the most hygienic thing you can do.
  - wonder_er 2y ago
    Even with a wand bidet, you don't touch the shit, mostly. Point the stream of the wand along the hand to make a little directable steam, modulate shape and power, etc. Like using a hose at half pressure and your thumb over the end to clean dropped food on marble. You'd sort it out, generally don't have to scrub. And if you have to scrub, it's under a steam of running water. But usually no scrubbing. Cleaning the toilet is easier with a wand bidet, too. I like that the wand is extremely low profile, nothing under the toilet seat. Talking about this directly in America feels ever so slightly sstrange, and this website codes american. Maybe I'm projecting.
shermantanktop 2y ago
The German term “sitzpinkel” exists, which as I understand it is a mocking term for a man who sits to pee. Any Germans here who can explain the full meaning? I think the connotation is that a man who sits to pee is excessively domesticated and perhaps a bit feminine.
- ahofmann 2y ago
  You pretty much got the meaning and connotation. The term is "Sitzpinkler", which translates to someone sitting while peeing. I would say that Sitzpinkler, together with Frauenvorsteher (someone who understands women) and Weichei are out of style nowadays, at least in the cities.
  - shermantanktop 2y ago
    Hilarious burn: “someone who understands women.” Maybe it makes more sense in a previous era of take-my-wife-please humor. The kids call it Boomer Humor but I think it predates that generation.
wonder_er 2y ago
I have a penis, mid 30s, a few years ago I started exclusively sitting when I pee, and use a wand bidet. A former partner, upon seeing me sit down to pee for the first time, exclaimed 'thats the hottest thing I have seen a man do!' Lol. I said it's bc I clean my own bathroom, and vastly prefer to sit anyway. It's comfy. Oh, and I have a squatty spotty, but don't use it super often. I hate the vibe of pee on my clothing. If I use a urinal, I try to treat it like the urinal pictured at the end of the article.
shalmanese 2y ago
To add to a bit of comment serendipity, @btrettel posted recently that one of his contributions from his PhD work was the characterization of "turbulent Rayleigh" liquid jets that describe men peeing but had remained largely ignored by academia because it didn't usually happen to industrial machines, only humans. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41547882 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41547882
- rossant 2y ago
  That's the comment that brought me to the rabbit hole leading me to post this article!

15 points by rossant 2y ago

There is an additional variable here that can result in an unintended phenomenon I call “sprinkler dick”. Occasionally (often after sex but not exclusively), I will be standing to pee and - all other things being equal - my initial stream will surprisingly come out at an almost 45 degree angle (always to the left for me). At other times, this phenomenon will manifest as the initial stream coming out bifurcated, forming a V (and not as a result of any stuck pubes). I have no solid explanation for why this occurs, but it is very repeatable, to the point where I now automatically sit down to pee after sex, because I can’t be arsed mopping up the bathroom floor. I have no idea if this phenomenon is unique to my physiology or is something that other men experience.

zafka 2y ago
At least N=2.
bell-cot 2y ago
When not actively passing fluids, the male urethra is almost always collapsed. In that state, it is easy for "precious bodily fluids" - or just the normal moisture of its inner lining - to dry out at the external opening, sticking the urethra's walls together and producing such effects.
- phs318u 2y ago
  Hmm. That makes sense. Ironic, given the number of times I get up to pee during the night (I'm old).
Jarmsy 2y ago
This phenomenon is common, and was referenced in the 2000 Jim Carey comedy "Me, Myself & Irene"
wonder_er 2y ago
Perhaps a little fluid that dries and pinches some skin in the end of the penis? When I experience this kind of thing (rarely, less than you) that's usually the vibe.
PeterWhittaker 2y ago
Personally, unaroused, single stream. Any level of arousal, two streams at ninety degrees to one another. Been that way for over 40 years. I can only figure that erectile tissue distorts the internal shape, especially at the “nozzle”. No other fluids involved.

ein0p 2y ago

Bidet, which they also mention, was a revelation to me. I first tried it in Turkey a few years back, and immediately upon return outfitted all of the toilets in my home with Japanese bidets. Toilet paper is used only to dry off (although the bidet also has air dry). Smearing shit around with toilet paper is a barbaric custom which really needs to go.

lostmsu 2y ago
Smearing shit with water isn't great either
- ein0p 2y ago
  Smearing maybe, but washing it off with a pressurized stream of water is the most hygienic thing you can do.
- wonder_er 2y ago
  Even with a wand bidet, you don't touch the shit, mostly. Point the stream of the wand along the hand to make a little directable steam, modulate shape and power, etc. Like using a hose at half pressure and your thumb over the end to clean dropped food on marble. You'd sort it out, generally don't have to scrub. And if you have to scrub, it's under a steam of running water. But usually no scrubbing. Cleaning the toilet is easier with a wand bidet, too. I like that the wand is extremely low profile, nothing under the toilet seat. Talking about this directly in America feels ever so slightly sstrange, and this website codes american. Maybe I'm projecting.

shermantanktop 2y ago

The German term “sitzpinkel” exists, which as I understand it is a mocking term for a man who sits to pee. Any Germans here who can explain the full meaning? I think the connotation is that a man who sits to pee is excessively domesticated and perhaps a bit feminine.

ahofmann 2y ago
You pretty much got the meaning and connotation. The term is "Sitzpinkler", which translates to someone sitting while peeing. I would say that Sitzpinkler, together with Frauenvorsteher (someone who understands women) and Weichei are out of style nowadays, at least in the cities.
- shermantanktop 2y ago
  Hilarious burn: “someone who understands women.” Maybe it makes more sense in a previous era of take-my-wife-please humor. The kids call it Boomer Humor but I think it predates that generation.

wonder_er 2y ago

I have a penis, mid 30s, a few years ago I started exclusively sitting when I pee, and use a wand bidet. A former partner, upon seeing me sit down to pee for the first time, exclaimed 'thats the hottest thing I have seen a man do!' Lol. I said it's bc I clean my own bathroom, and vastly prefer to sit anyway. It's comfy. Oh, and I have a squatty spotty, but don't use it super often. I hate the vibe of pee on my clothing. If I use a urinal, I try to treat it like the urinal pictured at the end of the article.

shalmanese 2y ago

To add to a bit of comment serendipity, @btrettel posted recently that one of his contributions from his PhD work was the characterization of "turbulent Rayleigh" liquid jets that describe men peeing but had remained largely ignored by academia because it didn't usually happen to industrial machines, only humans. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41547882 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41547882

rossant 2y ago
That's the comment that brought me to the rabbit hole leading me to post this article!