4 ms·

The online dating space (I use the term liberally) is a huge fucking mess. There's only 2 or 3 companies with an offering that is anywhere near useful, and they

by elric 2y ago

The online dating space (I use the term liberally) is a huge fucking mess. There's only 2 or 3 companies with an offering that is anywhere near useful, and they're either evil, incompetent, or both. Maybe it's time for an open source federated dating service or something. Or at least something that doesn't sell your data, doesn't leak your nudes, or doesn't get you beaten up/raped/murdered. Probably easier said than done.

ChiperSoft 2y ago
I’ve been conceptualizing one for a few years, but just don’t have the free dopamine to build it alongside my day job. ActivityPub even has the mechanics to facilitate it through publishing Person records. There is MASSIVE space for innovation, especially if you prioritize on non-monogamy, non-heterosexual, non-gender-conforming needs. Dating apps are a REALLY hard space to get into, however. You need a cumulative mass of users in a given area before they’re useful, and monetizing it inevitably means making the app less useful. There’s a reason okcupid went to shit after it stopped being a non-profit. And then there’s the moderation problem…
- diggan 2y ago
  Now you've piqued my interest, especially if it could be done in a safe but distributed way, without a focus on profits. How you'd envision it to work, considering the open nature of ActivityPub but the need/want from the users to remain private when using dating applications/protocols?
  - ChiperSoft 2y ago
    Profile data can be restricted based on authorized fetch, just like mastodon. For messaging, I hadn’t put a much thought into it, but one could establish end to end encryption based on mutual validation signatures. Theoretically. Encryption isn’t my strong suit, but as long as the encoded body is unicode, it’s just as easy to transmit as any other text. But, like, I also don’t know of any dating site that professes to be encrypting message contents.
mikrotikker 2y ago
I feel like ones nudity is something that should stay in analog form, where you have almost complete and absolute control over the distribution of it. If people want to make digital copies of their analog form that's their right to do, but they need to realize that no system is nor ever will be secure enough to prevent their inevitable release and distribution. This is something that young people especially don't take into account; the potential and probable long term ramifications and embarrassment. Providing such a facility is merely inviting such negative effects.
- elric 2y ago
  I see where you're coming from, but I don't agree. It should be possible for people to share stuff (nudity or anything else, really) with the people they want, without worrying that $incompentCompany will leak it for all to see. That, and a bit of embarrassment isn't really all that bad. The problem is that the leaked stuff keeps on circulating :-( I have a pet theory that seeing more "real" people in the nude is good for your body image. There's a lot less nudity than there was 30 years ago (from movies to locker rooms and everything in between), there's a lot more shame, and everyone is wistfully staring at Instagram garbage.

by elric 2y ago

ChiperSoft 2y ago

I’ve been conceptualizing one for a few years, but just don’t have the free dopamine to build it alongside my day job. ActivityPub even has the mechanics to facilitate it through publishing Person records. There is MASSIVE space for innovation, especially if you prioritize on non-monogamy, non-heterosexual, non-gender-conforming needs. Dating apps are a REALLY hard space to get into, however. You need a cumulative mass of users in a given area before they’re useful, and monetizing it inevitably means making the app less useful. There’s a reason okcupid went to shit after it stopped being a non-profit. And then there’s the moderation problem…

diggan 2y ago
Now you've piqued my interest, especially if it could be done in a safe but distributed way, without a focus on profits. How you'd envision it to work, considering the open nature of ActivityPub but the need/want from the users to remain private when using dating applications/protocols?
- ChiperSoft 2y ago
  Profile data can be restricted based on authorized fetch, just like mastodon. For messaging, I hadn’t put a much thought into it, but one could establish end to end encryption based on mutual validation signatures. Theoretically. Encryption isn’t my strong suit, but as long as the encoded body is unicode, it’s just as easy to transmit as any other text. But, like, I also don’t know of any dating site that professes to be encrypting message contents.

mikrotikker 2y ago

I feel like ones nudity is something that should stay in analog form, where you have almost complete and absolute control over the distribution of it. If people want to make digital copies of their analog form that's their right to do, but they need to realize that no system is nor ever will be secure enough to prevent their inevitable release and distribution. This is something that young people especially don't take into account; the potential and probable long term ramifications and embarrassment. Providing such a facility is merely inviting such negative effects.

elric 2y ago
I see where you're coming from, but I don't agree. It should be possible for people to share stuff (nudity or anything else, really) with the people they want, without worrying that $incompentCompany will leak it for all to see. That, and a bit of embarrassment isn't really all that bad. The problem is that the leaked stuff keeps on circulating :-( I have a pet theory that seeing more "real" people in the nude is good for your body image. There's a lot less nudity than there was 30 years ago (from movies to locker rooms and everything in between), there's a lot more shame, and everyone is wistfully staring at Instagram garbage.