I don't get that. If you're not using an ORM, you're simply looking at writing the queries to satisfy your requirements - nothing is guiding you towards an N+1

I don't get that. If you're not using an ORM, you're simply looking at writing the queries to satisfy your requirements - nothing is guiding you towards an N+1 path. There's nothing inherent about how we access data in a relational world that means we have to adopt such an anti-pattern. It does mean that you have to think ahead a little bit though.