I'm the smarmy prick who, when somebody says they bought a lottery ticket, I say "Give me the same amount you paid for that lottery ticket, and if you win I'll

I'm the smarmy prick who, when somebody says they bought a lottery ticket, I say "Give me the same amount you paid for that lottery ticket, and if you win I'll double your winnings." Them: "there's no way you could afford to pay me!" Me: "I won't have to."