I think they write like this partly because most of a generation or more of bad "copywriters" have been educated by teachers, other bad/amateurish writing, SEO

I think they write like this partly because most of a generation or more of bad "copywriters" have been educated by teachers, other bad/amateurish writing, SEO BS artists, and even their own clients that this is good writing. Billions of words of this dreck fills the Internet. Everything is an amorphous "experience", is "indulgent" and "unforgettable" and comes in "bespoke packages". Everyone is generically "committed" and "passionate" to their "dream". Read the blurb on any packaging and it's the same empty, flowery pap. It sounds good on a surface level, but it's empty linguistic calories. It's Instagram writing. Lord Dorwin would write like that. It's also tricky to prompt an LLM as you would an (engaged) human copywriter, because the human has extra cues like "why am I being asked to do this anyway", "who asked me" and "what about this coffeeshop is special but isn't in or isn't emphasised by the prompt/original copy". Plus extra research they may do. By the time you've prompted it carefully enough, and verified the emphasis is where you want it, you're basically just writing it. Of course what the LLM will do here is the same crap job that you can get from a guy of Fiverr that they bang out in a few minutes. Because that's where most copy comes from in the first place and that's the training data. And the LLM and the Fiverr guy have the same lack of investment in the job. And, as the Internet, full of the breathless writing about pasionate, committed experience packages proves, that's good enough for most people. It's a bit like smartphone cameras wrecking the low-end camera market. If you want to sell standalone cameras now, you have to sell very good cameras.