I've found a solution of sorts to this all. At least one that works for me, I'll add that caveat. It basically rests in the concept - it doesn't have to be tr

I've found a solution of sorts to this all. At least one that works for me, I'll add that caveat. It basically rests in the concept - it doesn't have to be true, it can simply be the mental model by which you operate - that we are all natural multiples, and that DID is when that system goes askew due to trauma. As such, I am able to characterize the part of me that demands perfection, that requires things, as a soldier or as a survivor self. But I make sure that there is also a parent in the mix. I make sure that self-care is part of the makeup. Another thing that has helped me - and it is a lesson I wish I had not learned this way - is that coping mechanisms can outlive their usefulness and kill you. I had a bipolar friend. He found a way to quiet his voices enough that he could sleep. That way was getting drunk. He died from alcohol poisoning. His coping mechanism killed him. I still miss him very much, and although I tend not to cry, his memory still easily brings me to tears. They're in my eyes now. That can happen with any coping mechanism. Nearly all our coping mechanisms when brought too far can actually, physically kill us. My own was emotional eating. There's lots more - and these concepts can be investigated more under the terms "integrated family systems", "parts work", and "ego family systems", among others - but the basic idea is that you have to balance out the part of you that is intent on keeping you alive by demanding perfection, by creating a part of you that loves yourself - not cheesily, not hippie-style, just loves yourself. For some, it is the parentage you may not have had, and it may be foreign, and you may need help adopting these attitudes. But there are people out there who want to help you, just out of the goodness of their professions and hearts; seek them out.