you may have misunderstood what i meant. i was talking about the idea that my life as a child is bad now and i have a vain hope that life will be better in the

you may have misunderstood what i meant. i was talking about the idea that my life as a child is bad now and i have a vain hope that life will be better in the future when i am grown up. my life was bad, and i missed out on many childhood experiences growing up, like i didn't have friends until i joined university. but i didn't know that it was bad. on the contrary i felt that eg not having friends protected from bad influences and the misbehavior i saw in my classmates. life was what it was and i had no idea it could be better. and frankly, it was for the better. i felt that i had a happy childhood. hoping for a better future would have made my actual childhood experience worse. it took me decades as an adult to even understand what i was missing and how it affected me. and the most important part, now that i understand that i can fix it and my life now is so much better than i could have even hoped for just a decade ago. i don't see how children can have a hope for a better life unless they compare their life with that of other people or worse with what they see on tv. (we didn't have a tv, and we preferred it that way), which creates a false hope because you are not those other people and your life will never be like theirs. only as an adult you can realistically understand which of the bad things in your life are in your power to fix. and in my opinion that is the time where you develop a hope for the future and start working on it. it took me decades to understand the bad things, and i have more hope for my future now than i have ever had before