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Umm.. yes it can. Common interests are WAAAY overrated. It's barely even a starting point... asymmetry is there it's at, why "partner" with yourself, when you c

by dagelf 2y ago

Umm.. yes it can. Common interests are WAAAY overrated. It's barely even a starting point... asymmetry is there it's at, why "partner" with yourself, when you can partner with your literal compliment, someone who has what you lack.... to make not just a bigger half, but an actual whole?!

eska 2y ago
Sure, but there must be at least some common ground. Otherwise how are you going to spend time together?
- nogbit 2y ago
  The point that is being made is that you do new things you haven’t done before. Explore! For example, If you are a gym rat in the morning you can still do that yourself without the other person and then later in the day do the new things you never done before. The other person benefits as well. You don’t always have to be glued to the hip of the other.
  - Sebb767 2y ago
    So you argue that you should both enjoy exploring new things together in common. No one is arguing that you should spend every minute with your partner, but if you want to spend time together, you should have an activity that you both enjoy (which might be exploring new things!), otherwise the relationship will be hard.
    - dxbydt 2y ago
      on the contrary, most relationships got started only because both partners enjoy exploring each other’s bodies. any other activities they might have in common is some afterthought that is tacked on after the relationship acquired a stable footing. i still don’t have any activity in common with my wife, and we’ve spent 2 decades & change…
Almondsetat 2y ago
It's not about common interests, it's literally just about showing up and being exposed to the same people for a prolonged amount of time. The activity is just an excuse.
sim7c00 2y ago
fully agree with dagelf here. me andmy wife share nothing in common but the fact we enjoy eachothers presence. imho its really important to have your own thing. if it all revolves around some external commonality, its bound to fail once that thing is gone for either.
treflop 2y ago
It's not about common interests, it's about having a third place (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place). A lot of interests need a common space.

by dagelf 2y ago

eska 2y ago

Sure, but there must be at least some common ground. Otherwise how are you going to spend time together?

nogbit 2y ago
The point that is being made is that you do new things you haven’t done before. Explore! For example, If you are a gym rat in the morning you can still do that yourself without the other person and then later in the day do the new things you never done before. The other person benefits as well. You don’t always have to be glued to the hip of the other.
- Sebb767 2y ago
  So you argue that you should both enjoy exploring new things together in common. No one is arguing that you should spend every minute with your partner, but if you want to spend time together, you should have an activity that you both enjoy (which might be exploring new things!), otherwise the relationship will be hard.
  - dxbydt 2y ago
    on the contrary, most relationships got started only because both partners enjoy exploring each other’s bodies. any other activities they might have in common is some afterthought that is tacked on after the relationship acquired a stable footing. i still don’t have any activity in common with my wife, and we’ve spent 2 decades & change…

Almondsetat 2y ago

It's not about common interests, it's literally just about showing up and being exposed to the same people for a prolonged amount of time. The activity is just an excuse.

sim7c00 2y ago

fully agree with dagelf here. me andmy wife share nothing in common but the fact we enjoy eachothers presence. imho its really important to have your own thing. if it all revolves around some external commonality, its bound to fail once that thing is gone for either.

treflop 2y ago

It's not about common interests, it's about having a third place (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_place). A lot of interests need a common space.