5 ms·

At work I often learned the full names and other details about dozens of coworkers, customers, whatever, even if I didn't need to know. A few years after leavi

At work I often learned the full names and other details about dozens of coworkers, customers, whatever, even if I didn't need to know. A few years after leaving wherever, I begin to forget even the simplest names, and I consider this as a blessing, as if Agent K set the flashy-thing in my eyes and I've returned to an ordinary life.

dboreham 2y ago
For me typically some attribute remains in memory after the name fades: "white-teeth marketing dude" or "guy obsessed with keyboards". I suppose that's how names started: Miller, Shepard, etc. As a corollary to this if I'm going into a business situation where I think it would be useful to be remembered, I'll try to wear something notable -- brightly colored shoes, something like that. Imagining the other parties discussing "that bloke, what was his name?? who? Um, the one with the orange shoes. Oh yes".
- card_zero 2y ago
  Nathan Whitetoothdouche, Jeff Analkeyboards. But isn't the orange shoes thing a classic spy tactic to get people to ignore your face? Now all they remember about you is your shoes. Wear different ones another time, and you're a stranger.
- bitwize 2y ago
  I once interviewed for a job with a small group of people, all at once. To keep them all straight in my head before I learned their names I gave each a mental nickname based on their appearance: Red Hair, Taller Than My Dad, Jack Sparrow (he had hollow cheeks and a dark unkempt beard). Taller Than My Dad turned out to be comp.lang.c FAQ maintainer, Steve Summit.
  - TomK32 2y ago
    Did you rename you Dad to half-way-to-Summit?
  - shepherdjerred 2y ago
    This is straight out of The Office https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcksTKoZMts&t=178 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcksTKoZMts&t=178
- tsimionescu 2y ago
  Official family names like Miller etc are a quite modern phenomenon for the majority of people, an aspect of a more formal and powerful state apparatus. Traditional names are the first names, and these have been less direct for a very long time. First names are assigned in childhood and used for most of your life, so they are rarely related to your occupation. Much of Europe, America, and the Middle East of course use mostly the names of religious figures, but even in societies that didn't adopt foreign names, given names are typically words that evoke some positive aspiration, such as well liked/respected animals or plants. Of course, sometimes people would be known by other names as well.
  - shepherdjerred 2y ago
    Related: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nominative_determinism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nominative_determinism
TomK32 2y ago
Four-and-a-half years ago I started a new job and used Anki to learn all the names and faces of my ~100 coworkers, thankfully we had some internal directory that I did use as a data source. It worked great! Then the pandemic hit... I left the company three years ago and now could remember maybe five names if I met them.
pnut 2y ago
One of the guiding principles in my household is that people will generally forgive, but they will never forget the way you made them feel.
at_a_remove 2y ago
Not good with people, I had developed a facade full of weird coping mechanisms as I attempted to fake not being tremendously shy and avoidant of rejection. I was just into my twenties, working at a dating service as a kind of factotum (data entry, but also shooting and editing videos, networking, and reception). Inadvertently, the relevant details of all of our members just ... grafted themselves onto my hapless brain. Names, height, weight, job, member number, video number, and so forth. Employees began to call me rather than look people up in the directory, but I liked to greet people when they came in rather than having them fumble for their card. One conversation went like this: Me: Hello, $Firstname! No need for the card, I know your number is seventeen forty-two. It's been about six months since you've been in, let me get into the computer and get your activity printed. Him: You know me? Me: Just by your picture. [idle chatter mode initiated as I wait for the printer]. Say, you've lost about ten pounds. That's down to one-sixty, right? I'll make a note to update your profile. Him: [shifting uncomfortably] I was really one-eighty but I fudged it, so now it is accurate. Me: So, how's the insurance business? Him: You remember that? Me: [continuing on like a chipper but oblivious robot] Our members are important! Him: I'll buy you a steak dinner if you can tell me my birthday. Me: July thirty-first, nineteen forty-four. I let him off the steak dinner thing. I am not good with people and it took me a long time to learn that, although people like to be recognized and known to some degree, huge amounts of detail retained over long periods, or remembering even singular encounters with high fidelity freaks some folks out. Somewhere along the line, I had mechanically applied the "remember people's names" advice from books like How to Win Friends and Influence People and must have figured if some is good, more is better, then used the few strengths I had, but instead ended up setting off people's "information asymmetry" threat detection and/or Who Is This Freak. Now I clamp down and try not to blurt out recognizing someone from decades back, even though I am, like a puppy, happy to see a person from long ago once more. When I make jokes that I am like a golden retriever, I am kidding on the square.

dboreham 2y ago

For me typically some attribute remains in memory after the name fades: "white-teeth marketing dude" or "guy obsessed with keyboards". I suppose that's how names started: Miller, Shepard, etc. As a corollary to this if I'm going into a business situation where I think it would be useful to be remembered, I'll try to wear something notable -- brightly colored shoes, something like that. Imagining the other parties discussing "that bloke, what was his name?? who? Um, the one with the orange shoes. Oh yes".

card_zero 2y ago
Nathan Whitetoothdouche, Jeff Analkeyboards. But isn't the orange shoes thing a classic spy tactic to get people to ignore your face? Now all they remember about you is your shoes. Wear different ones another time, and you're a stranger.
bitwize 2y ago
I once interviewed for a job with a small group of people, all at once. To keep them all straight in my head before I learned their names I gave each a mental nickname based on their appearance: Red Hair, Taller Than My Dad, Jack Sparrow (he had hollow cheeks and a dark unkempt beard). Taller Than My Dad turned out to be comp.lang.c FAQ maintainer, Steve Summit.
- TomK32 2y ago
  Did you rename you Dad to half-way-to-Summit?
- shepherdjerred 2y ago
  This is straight out of The Office https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcksTKoZMts&t=178 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcksTKoZMts&t=178
tsimionescu 2y ago
Official family names like Miller etc are a quite modern phenomenon for the majority of people, an aspect of a more formal and powerful state apparatus. Traditional names are the first names, and these have been less direct for a very long time. First names are assigned in childhood and used for most of your life, so they are rarely related to your occupation. Much of Europe, America, and the Middle East of course use mostly the names of religious figures, but even in societies that didn't adopt foreign names, given names are typically words that evoke some positive aspiration, such as well liked/respected animals or plants. Of course, sometimes people would be known by other names as well.
- shepherdjerred 2y ago
  Related: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nominative_determinism https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nominative_determinism

TomK32 2y ago

Four-and-a-half years ago I started a new job and used Anki to learn all the names and faces of my ~100 coworkers, thankfully we had some internal directory that I did use as a data source. It worked great! Then the pandemic hit... I left the company three years ago and now could remember maybe five names if I met them.

pnut 2y ago

One of the guiding principles in my household is that people will generally forgive, but they will never forget the way you made them feel.

at_a_remove 2y ago

Not good with people, I had developed a facade full of weird coping mechanisms as I attempted to fake not being tremendously shy and avoidant of rejection. I was just into my twenties, working at a dating service as a kind of factotum (data entry, but also shooting and editing videos, networking, and reception). Inadvertently, the relevant details of all of our members just ... grafted themselves onto my hapless brain. Names, height, weight, job, member number, video number, and so forth. Employees began to call me rather than look people up in the directory, but I liked to greet people when they came in rather than having them fumble for their card. One conversation went like this: Me: Hello, $Firstname! No need for the card, I know your number is seventeen forty-two. It's been about six months since you've been in, let me get into the computer and get your activity printed. Him: You know me? Me: Just by your picture. [idle chatter mode initiated as I wait for the printer]. Say, you've lost about ten pounds. That's down to one-sixty, right? I'll make a note to update your profile. Him: [shifting uncomfortably] I was really one-eighty but I fudged it, so now it is accurate. Me: So, how's the insurance business? Him: You remember that? Me: [continuing on like a chipper but oblivious robot] Our members are important! Him: I'll buy you a steak dinner if you can tell me my birthday. Me: July thirty-first, nineteen forty-four. I let him off the steak dinner thing. I am not good with people and it took me a long time to learn that, although people like to be recognized and known to some degree, huge amounts of detail retained over long periods, or remembering even singular encounters with high fidelity freaks some folks out. Somewhere along the line, I had mechanically applied the "remember people's names" advice from books like How to Win Friends and Influence People and must have figured if some is good, more is better, then used the few strengths I had, but instead ended up setting off people's "information asymmetry" threat detection and/or Who Is This Freak. Now I clamp down and try not to blurt out recognizing someone from decades back, even though I am, like a puppy, happy to see a person from long ago once more. When I make jokes that I am like a golden retriever, I am kidding on the square.