So, everyone agrees that assholes exist. Let’s pretend we also all agree that some of them are sexiest assholes who display this behavior preferentially to wome

So, everyone agrees that assholes exist. Let’s pretend we also all agree that some of them are sexiest assholes who display this behavior preferentially to women. When you see one such interaction, it is indistinguishable from any randomly chosen non-sexist asshole interaction. And if you’re a guy, you see both men and women subjected to assholes and think that’s just part of equality, there’s no sexism around to police. Meanwhile, if men and women are equally hurt by each asshole attack, there are many men, few women, several equal opportunity assholes and a few assholes who target women: asshole attacks will be directed at women at a much greater rate than men. You can either say “everyone has to cope with assholes, this isn’t sexism” or you can think about what could make assholery disproportionately hurt women in the field even though men also experience it.