I argue with my wife, maybe, once a quarter. Together for 6 years. The important factor is working together to work things out, as one of the other commenters

I argue with my wife, maybe, once a quarter. Together for 6 years. The important factor is working together to work things out, as one of the other commenters said. But I don't believe arguments should be considered normal. We stop 100% of the time and say "ok hang on, we've got different ideas here, let's figure something out" - sometimes we will have to leave it and come back to it later. I was abused by boomer parents early similar to the OP. And I am not going to continue that for my family or kids. My wife hasn't been abused but she's woken up to how awful her own parents are at arguing