4 ms·

Is this an opinion you have as a parent or a non-parent?

bumby 2y ago
Do parents not expect other parents to act with consideration to other members of society? I believe the fundamental principle remains the same in either instance. Whether or not I have a disability does not change my mind about whether people in a wheelchair should board a plane first. My kids get to be the absolute center of my world, but I’m careful not to expect them to be the center of anyone else’s.
- em-bee 2y ago
  being a parent changes your perception about the challenges other parents face. it is one thing for me as a parent to realize that my kid is disruptive and step outside unprompted, but quite another for someone to ask me to leave. the latter would make me very uncomfortable, and needs to be handled with extreme tact and consideration.
  - bumby 2y ago
    >the latter would make me very uncomfortable Genuine question, but why would this make you feel uncomfortable? >needs to be handled with extreme tact and consideration. Did you think they acted without tact? By the authors own account, they seemed very polite and even sent a follow-up email. The founders account of the interaction made it seem even more polite (asking her if she needed help, offering to hold the baby, offering other areas where she could still hear the talk but not be as much of a distraction etc.)
    - em-bee 2y ago
      being asked to leave implies that i am either oblivious towards the disruption my kids cause, or that i simply misjudge the situation and thought my kids are not as disruptive as the person asking me felt about it. both imply a judgement of my behavior, and that alone will make me uncomfortable. i do admit that i am biased by my experience in china where something like that would never happen as i explain here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41438834 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41438834 not having experienced the situation i can't judge, but the fact that it prompted the person to write an article about it to me suggests that on some level it did make her feel uncomfortable. if it hadn't it wouldn't have been worth mentioning.
      - bumby 2y ago
        Sure. After reading both accounts, it came across to me that the founder with the baby was being overly sensitive and chose to steer into the least favorable interpretation. We should strive to be polite but we shouldn't avoid confrontation just because someone may take it the wrong way, especially when doing so comes at the detriment of other people's experiences.
        em-bee 2y ago
        having read the response now too, i have to agree
- AbrahamParangi 2y ago
  I hold myself to that standard but I also think that we should be tolerant of young children amongst us. We were all there once.
  - bumby 2y ago
    I don’t think anyone is advocating intolerance towards children, but rather trying to define what is reasonable. A loud child in a restaurant might be ok, but a child screaming and throwing food less so. After reading both accounts, I get the feeling the founder with a baby has an expectation that is miscalibrated to what most people consider would be reasonable.

Do parents not expect other parents to act with consideration to other members of society? I believe the fundamental principle remains the same in either instance. Whether or not I have a disability does not change my mind about whether people in a wheelchair should board a plane first. My kids get to be the absolute center of my world, but I’m careful not to expect them to be the center of anyone else’s.

em-bee 2y ago
being a parent changes your perception about the challenges other parents face. it is one thing for me as a parent to realize that my kid is disruptive and step outside unprompted, but quite another for someone to ask me to leave. the latter would make me very uncomfortable, and needs to be handled with extreme tact and consideration.
- bumby 2y ago
  >the latter would make me very uncomfortable Genuine question, but why would this make you feel uncomfortable? >needs to be handled with extreme tact and consideration. Did you think they acted without tact? By the authors own account, they seemed very polite and even sent a follow-up email. The founders account of the interaction made it seem even more polite (asking her if she needed help, offering to hold the baby, offering other areas where she could still hear the talk but not be as much of a distraction etc.)
  - em-bee 2y ago
    being asked to leave implies that i am either oblivious towards the disruption my kids cause, or that i simply misjudge the situation and thought my kids are not as disruptive as the person asking me felt about it. both imply a judgement of my behavior, and that alone will make me uncomfortable. i do admit that i am biased by my experience in china where something like that would never happen as i explain here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41438834 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41438834 not having experienced the situation i can't judge, but the fact that it prompted the person to write an article about it to me suggests that on some level it did make her feel uncomfortable. if it hadn't it wouldn't have been worth mentioning.
    - bumby 2y ago
      Sure. After reading both accounts, it came across to me that the founder with the baby was being overly sensitive and chose to steer into the least favorable interpretation. We should strive to be polite but we shouldn't avoid confrontation just because someone may take it the wrong way, especially when doing so comes at the detriment of other people's experiences.
      - em-bee 2y ago
        having read the response now too, i have to agree
AbrahamParangi 2y ago
I hold myself to that standard but I also think that we should be tolerant of young children amongst us. We were all there once.
- bumby 2y ago
  I don’t think anyone is advocating intolerance towards children, but rather trying to define what is reasonable. A loud child in a restaurant might be ok, but a child screaming and throwing food less so. After reading both accounts, I get the feeling the founder with a baby has an expectation that is miscalibrated to what most people consider would be reasonable.