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If a 43% failure rate is an unacceptable risk, and ceasing attempts is preferable to failing a second time, what does that say about taking tests in school, fil

If a 43% failure rate is an unacceptable risk, and ceasing attempts is preferable to failing a second time, what does that say about taking tests in school, filling out job applications, scientific research and advancements, or compiling that code your boss told you to write?

toomuchtodo 2y ago
It suggests you are mismatching risk assessments and appetites, either unintentionally through a lack of understanding of the failure scenario, or intentionally in support of a traditionalist belief system. Marriage has a material cost, love and relationships less so. You can love freely without being bound by the liability marriage encumbers inherently; I encourage others to love, date, and otherwise seek, explore, and maintain romantic and emotional relationships as much as they wish to for as long as they wish to, but from a place of security and with a robust foundation for themselves. You’re putting work in regardless (as most relationships require), but the paperwork making it official ain’t gonna make you any more happy nor does it make the relationship any more “real.” The work and mutual respect is what makes it real. Also, keeping people married who don’t want to be married serves no one. When something is hard to measure and benchmark (similar to happiness as it relates to success), we default to suboptimal measures instead (such as wealth, power, and status) because it is easier to observe. Important to recognize this and recalibrate accordingly to encourage improved outcomes.
- AStonesThrow 2y ago
  Sure, but I can love best when I have a commitment and a strong sense of responsibility. The object of my affection feels loved when they feel secure and supported, when they can plan for the future without hedging their bets. I signed a 12-mo lease with my landlady, but they included a clause to let me out easily. Yet, my commitment to them runs deeper than that, and my community ties are strong. I realized how little I would gain by packing up and moving somewhere else, and how much would be lost, not only me but all my neighbors. Why wouldn't I sign a 5-year lease? All that paperwork we signed does indeed make us happy, because it signifies our commitment to each other, and the regulation and laws that make this a safe and secure living arrangement. Without a lease, I'd be a squatter and the constable shows up. Without the lease, they have no responsibility to fix my appliances or respond to a damage report. The legal technicalities make a lot of difference here! If a love relationship costs you nothing and has no commitment or responsibilities, then it's worth exactly as much as you paid for it.

toomuchtodo 2y ago

It suggests you are mismatching risk assessments and appetites, either unintentionally through a lack of understanding of the failure scenario, or intentionally in support of a traditionalist belief system. Marriage has a material cost, love and relationships less so. You can love freely without being bound by the liability marriage encumbers inherently; I encourage others to love, date, and otherwise seek, explore, and maintain romantic and emotional relationships as much as they wish to for as long as they wish to, but from a place of security and with a robust foundation for themselves. You’re putting work in regardless (as most relationships require), but the paperwork making it official ain’t gonna make you any more happy nor does it make the relationship any more “real.” The work and mutual respect is what makes it real. Also, keeping people married who don’t want to be married serves no one. When something is hard to measure and benchmark (similar to happiness as it relates to success), we default to suboptimal measures instead (such as wealth, power, and status) because it is easier to observe. Important to recognize this and recalibrate accordingly to encourage improved outcomes.

AStonesThrow 2y ago
Sure, but I can love best when I have a commitment and a strong sense of responsibility. The object of my affection feels loved when they feel secure and supported, when they can plan for the future without hedging their bets. I signed a 12-mo lease with my landlady, but they included a clause to let me out easily. Yet, my commitment to them runs deeper than that, and my community ties are strong. I realized how little I would gain by packing up and moving somewhere else, and how much would be lost, not only me but all my neighbors. Why wouldn't I sign a 5-year lease? All that paperwork we signed does indeed make us happy, because it signifies our commitment to each other, and the regulation and laws that make this a safe and secure living arrangement. Without a lease, I'd be a squatter and the constable shows up. Without the lease, they have no responsibility to fix my appliances or respond to a damage report. The legal technicalities make a lot of difference here! If a love relationship costs you nothing and has no commitment or responsibilities, then it's worth exactly as much as you paid for it.