Hypochondria snuck up on me (it's called "Somatic Symptom Disorder" now and it's not something that gets openly diagnosed, in my experience.) I had definitely

Hypochondria snuck up on me (it's called "Somatic Symptom Disorder" now and it's not something that gets openly diagnosed, in my experience.) I had definitely flawed perceptions of physicians and health care in general. I viewed a doctor as someone who'd help you heal if you came in with a complaint. Someone who dispensed good advice and recommendations to be your best, like "here's a good diet. get some rest. take 3 days off work to heal. let me list some exercises you can do." And I was primed to trust physicians and eager to follow good orders like that. After decades of pursuing health and wellness and attempting to partner with my PCP and specialists I've realized that they do none of that. A PCP's primary purpose, for me, seems to be screening and testing until they find disorders that match up with the medications in their formulary and the treatments on the insurance company's list. I've had multiple encounters where the doc/nurse reassures me that I'm really healthy and there's no issue to treat and I'm making mountains out of molehills. It became frustrating to me because I felt so bad! And perhaps I did have burgeoning issues that were simply untreatable. Physicians are so often frustrated by patients who've abused and neglected their health, then we show up on their doorstep as a hopeless, lost cause wanting to be rescued. By analogy, I learned that I shouldn't bug my landlady about maintenance unless something is truly broken and inoperable. The fix often causes more problems -- "the cure is worse than the disease", right? I'm trying to reorient my relationship to HCPs. I need to relate health complaints to my ability to work or function in daily life, rather than minor annoyances or concerns about future problems. It doesn't pay to complain needlessly, and the medications are just a penalty for seeking help. Hypochondria may be reinforced by physicians' tendency to find treatments and prescribe stuff. You get rewarded with attention and tasks to do, even if they don't heal you. "Oh doc I feel really bad!" Well let's run some tests and go fishing! Daddy needs a new Ferrari! (My dentist literally drove one. My current dentist adorns his office walls with his own photography of exotic travel destinations instead.)